


How to Fail Upwards (in Enemy Territory)

by loveluckylost



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Adventure, Angst, Danger, Escape, Gen, Homeworld (Steven Universe), Homeworld Hierarchy (Steven Universe), Homeworld is Horrible, Journey, Steven Universe References, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2019-11-09 01:06:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 39,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17991908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveluckylost/pseuds/loveluckylost
Summary: Just like that, the kid was gone. Lars stood up, contemplating his surroundings now that his only link to Earth had left.How will he and his new friends make it to Earth? What fires will they have to walk through to do it?Takes place between 'Lars’ Head' and 'Lars of the Stars'.





	1. The Cavern.

Just like that, the kid was gone. Lars stood up, contemplating his surroundings now that his only link to Earth had left.

“I can’t believe it,” exclaimed Rhodonite, who looked both terrified and excited all at once. “A mission. I haven’t had a mission in.. well, eons! Not since Our Morganite assigned Ruby to-”

She fell silent as the Rutile Twins, who had been inspecting the blocked entranceway, held up a hand as the menacing red glow of another couple of robonoids hummed past.

“I hope you’re not in a hurry to get started,” said one Twin as soon as the glow had faded off out of earshot. “It’s going to be carefully monitored out there for a while,” said the other.

Flourite nodded slowly, closing her eyes. “We can use this time to come up with a plan,” she said at length.

Lars scooped the food items that Steven had left for him - sandwich, juicebox, chaaaaps - back into the brown paper bag and had a thought to see if he could put it in his head for safekeeping. After only managing to sharply jab himself in the head with the corner of the juice box, he opted to set it down on a nearby rock.

“Soooo.. -Do- we have a plan?” He asked, rubbing his head.

“It’s not going to be as easy as just warping to Earth,” Rhodonite said, scratching her chest gem contemplatively. “No one’s been able to warp there since the diamond attack. Unless things are different now..” She glanced at Lars. “You do know what a warp pad is, right?”

“Yeah, Steven once warped me a-and..” He hesitated a little. “I mean, yeah. I’ve warped before.”

“Sorry, Rhodonite just meant-” started one of the Twins before Lars interjected.

“No no, don’t assume I know anything. I’m not from here.” He paused as something occurred to him. “Anyway, I don’t think we can warp there, otherwise those gems who abducted us wouldn’t have come to Earth in a spaceship, would they?” he asked, the alternative not really making as much sense to him.

“Hmm,” Padparadscha, who had been sitting quietly listening to the discussion, nodded.

“Obviously we need a ship,” said Fluorite.

The Rutile Twins perked up in excitement. “A fast one!” “Capable of making the long journey to Earth in as little time as possible.”

Rhodonite laughed. “Looks like we have our pilots already.”

Lars gaped. “How in the world will you two be able to pilot a ship? You just told me you’ve been hiding here your whole lives.”

The gems, having fallen silent, stared at him, not understanding his issue. He floundered, suspecting a misunderstanding. “I mean, you’d have to go do a course, wouldn’t ya? Flight school? Space camp, at least. ..Right? To learn how?”

“I don’t understand,” Said one of the Twins. “Do humans pop out of the ground not knowing anything?” asked the other. Suddenly, the first twin gaped in disbelief at the second twin, who raised her hand to her mouth in embarrassment. “Ohh, I’m sorry, that was rude!”

Lars blinked in confusion. “..The ground?” He wished he’d paid more attention when Steven used to excitedly try to tell him about gem things, but suddenly the sinister figure-shaped holes lining the walls around him made a lot more sense. “Wait, wait. You just.. know how to do all these things?”

“Well, yes. It’s what Rutiles are made to do.” Said a Rutile. “We’re all made to fulfill a purpose,” said the other.

“Okay,” said Lars, mind reeling. “So all gems just know what they are and, like, what to do?”

“Yeah, at least, until we don’t anymore.” Said Rhodonite with a sad smile, her component gems obviously comforting each other.

“But now we have this.” Said Fluorite.

“We have Earth,” the Twins added cheerfully.

Padparadscha chimed in, “And we have you.”

Lars, taken aback, suddenly felt like he understood the profound impact his presence had had on the little group.

Rhodonite reached towards him, suddenly worried. “Oh, Lars-”

He quickly blinked hard. “Thanks.. Thank you guys for not leaving me alone here. You guys could’ve left with Steven and gotten away from all this.”

“We already told you—” started Fluorite.

“-Off Colors stick together. I know.”

He stopped as another wave of red appeared at the blocked entrance. Flourite sighed and settled down on the ground, eyes closed, thinking. The others joined her by sitting nearby, in kind of a haphazard circle.

“My stars, always with the robonoids,” Rhodonite muttered.

“Better that than soldiers,” A Twin offered. “Which we may start seeing soon if our luck gets any worse.” The other added grimly.

Lars shuddered. “I think I’d rather sneak past a scanner.. Do any of you guys happen to be fighters?”

There was silence until Rhodonite’s component Ruby raised a hand. Her component Pearl promptly grabbed it back down. She laughed nervously. “I-It’s been a couple of centuries..” she explained. “Er, Millenia..” she coughed.

“Really? The gems on Earth fight monsters all the time. I kinda thought it’s what gems did.”

“Well, Lars, you can fight.” Offered a Rutile.

“All I did here was hit a few robots with a rock and then I died. If Steven hadn’t cried on me or whatever, I’d still be just..” He waved an arm loosely in the direction of where his body had briefly lain, “Dead. Forever.”

The group looked a little uncomfortable for a moment before Fluorite spoke up. “We won’t let that happen to you again.”

“Yeah,” added a Rutile, putting her hand on Lars’ shoulder. “You’re one of us.” “We’re a crew now.”

Rhodonite clasped her graspers together. “We’ll all protect each other.”

Lars smiled up at her, causing Rhodonite to stare wide-eyed at the sweet display before furrowing her brow and speaking up again.

“Okay, okay. How’s this. After the next wave of robonoids, we should leave, go in the opposite direction, and make for the lower caverns because they’re sure to be searching top-down.” She started, drawing a rough map in the rocky dirt. “We’ll take the tunnels against the setting stars making sure we leave no tracks. Then.. I’m not sure.” She massaged the lower half of her face with one of her upper set of hands. “Will we make for the Galaxy Warp in case it’s back up and running? Or straight for Homeworld’s spaceport and grab whatever we can to get off planet?”

“Why should we risk something we’re not sure about just because it might be easier?” Lars asked nervously.

“..The spaceport it is!” Said Rhodonite, raising a finger in triumph and smiling awkwardly.

Padparadscha smiled and clasped her hands together. “Everyone, I’m having a vision! Rhodonite and Human Lars will soon develop a strategy that we can use to finally leave this cave before we’re discovered! Ooo, I can’t wait until you all hear it.”

The Rutiles smiled. “That’s such a relief, Padparadscha!”

“How do we know these lower tunnels aren’t being searched?” Asked Lars.

“Well..” Rhodonite was unsure. “We don’t, but, it’s kind of all we have.”

“No one comes down here unless they are forced to,” observed Fluorite. “If they are being searched, we will evade them.”

The Twins nodded. “Nobody knows these tunnels like we do.”

“We can use the tunnels to get close to spaceport at least, and then.. uhhh,” Rhodonite trailed off, thinking.

“It’s okay Rhodonite,” said Lars. “We can make a new plan when the time comes.”

“I’ll keep watch for the next wave,” said Fluorite as she stood up and headed back over to the blockade. Lars glanced around before jumping up to grab the lunchbag he’d put aside out of the dirt. Rhodonite followed him over.

“Do you need to bring your ‘food’?” She asked.

“I mean..” He shrugged. “I guess. I’ll probably need to eat it at some point, right? I know I should need it by now but I’m still not hungry yet.”

“I’ll hold it for you.”

“It’s okay, I can carry it-”

Rhodonite snorted incredulously. “What, with your graspers? I insist!” she replied, picking it up and stowing it away inside her chest gem in a beam of light. She raised her eyebrows at Lars’ open-mouthed reaction. “Just let me know when you get ‘hungry’ and I’ll pull it out for you.”

“Uhh. Okay. Thanks, Rhodonite.”

He caught sight of the rocky club he’d destroyed the robonoid with, right before he died. He gingerly wandered over and reluctantly picked it up out of the debris. He noticed that it seemed lighter than it did before.

“I’ll carry this myself.”

They turned back towards the entrance to find the others watching through the cracks in the barricade as the most recent wave of red started to disappear. They then hurried over to help move the boulder out of the entrance. Without Steven’s help, the weight of the boulder proved so heavy that it took all of them to shift it aside - even Padparadscha threw her tiny frame against it. Once it was done, the gems started to move out, but Lars stopped them.

“Let me,” he offered, swinging the club around to rest against his shoulder.

“Lars-” Started Rhodonite, worried.

“I’ll be careful.”

He poked his head around the entrance slowly, eyes wide, trying his best to take in the whole situation at once. The larger cavern out here was vast. He saw the most recent robonoids disappearing down the rocky walkway to his right; to the left the coast appeared to be clear. Growing bolder, he moved further out onto the ledge. In the however-many hours he’d been hiding in the cave, he’d almost forgotten that it was only a small part of a massive artificial subterranean cave system. A kindergarten, he reminded himself.

“I predict we will be safe for now! What excellent news!” Exclaimed Padparadscha, behind him.

As his new friends came out to join him on the outside, he cast his gaze down over the side of the ledge. Innumerable pillars and columns of solid rock dotted with the now-familiar silhouette holes rose up and crashed down into the hazy depths of the planet's interior.

The distance seemed endless.


	2. The Tunnels.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Off Colors, fresh with purpose, negotiate the massive underground complex of kindergartens and tunnels while being hunted by robots and gems alike in a desperate bid to get up to the surface of Homeworld.

The group had been quietly heading down a rocky, winding slope for the last few hours, pausing only when they had to hide in the holes in the cliff alongside their trail whenever activity was heard above. And activity there was. It was becoming more and more common to see a robonoid or two, or at least a faint red glow flying around in the upper canopies, and at odd points, they began to hear the faint sounds of husky voices searching for tracks off in the distance. Even though they were ostensibly looking for Steven, (or his mom or at least his gem or whatever,) Lars knew, the odds were slim that him or his friends would be any better off if they got caught.

The lower their elevation, the thicker the atmosphere and the darker and more misty it became.

“So.. what if we fall?” Lars asked, trying not to trip on debris.

“Don’t fall,” came Padparadscha’s cheerful suggestion as she walked slightly ahead of him.

“Here,” said one of the Twins, quietly, pointing in the near-darkness. “We need to get over to that column, descend further..” “And then there’ll be a tunnel through the wall that will take us out of here and into the next kindergarten.”

Rhodonite hurried ahead a little, spying below them a rocky bridge-like protrusion leading from their trail over to the column in question. “Oh thank the stars.”

Out of nowhere, a whirring sound. They stopped and hid, as they had done many times before, as a robonoid appeared from around the other side of the column. The Twins, Padparadscha and Rhodonite piled into the back of an exit hole while Lars used his meatshield and the narrow space available to nervously guard the entrance, while Fluorite scrambled down and clung caterpillar-like to the underside of the spiraling ledge they’d been traveling down - an ability that Lars wouldn’t have thought the giant fusion would have, but there you go.

The strategy that appeared to work best was to minimize all movement as soon as possible and wait. Lars’ purpose in these situations was to hide his companion's gems and distract the robonoid until it decided that it’s purpose was better served somewhere else. Attempting to whack the machine with the club was only to be used as a last resort, but he lifted it into batting position anyway since doing so made him feel better. It was this last movement that caught its attention, and it approached the hole. He heard the gems behind him cringe and groan as he was scanned, which always made him feel nervous, but all the tension left when the robonoid turned its attention elsewhere. 

Lars noticed it was probably going to look underneath the ledge, and instantly all that tension came straight back. He dropped the club as he scrambled out of the hole, and threw a rock at it to attract its attention once again. The rock clattered off the back of it’s cone-shaped chassis, and it spun around to meet its aggressor.

“I’m over here you evil flying ice-cream cone!”

He held still as it scanned him once again before flying off, upwards this time. He watched, squinting, until it disappeared up beyond the mist.

“I think it’s gone, guys.” 

“Stars above,” whispered Rhodonite as she assisted Padparadscha out of the hole. “That one really snuck up on us.”

“I predict Human Lars will succeed in protecting us once again! What an amazing being!”

Lars couldn’t help but blush deeply at her comment. “Ahhh, stop. And, just call me Lars, okay?”

“Lars,” Padparadscha repeated. “So modest, too!”

Fluorite slowly climbed back around onto the top of the ledge once more to join them as the Twins emerged from the hole.

“Thank you, Lars. Let’s keep going,” Fluorite urged. “Not far now.”

They continued down the rocky corkscrew at a brisk pace, and Lars found himself astride the Twins. The one closest to him glanced over. “How are you managing, Lars?” “Wouldn’t organics lose energy fast because they don’t have gems?”

“Aah,” suddenly Lars looked worried. He had lost track of time, but he reckoned it had been hours since he was brought back to life. Hours of walking and waiting and worrying and adjusting, not to mention days before that since he had last eaten. But was he really adjusting? Or was he purposefully involving himself in the moment so much as to not give himself space to think? In any case, he tried his best to clear his head and posit a response. 

“I actually think I’m okay. Usually I guess I’d be worn out by now ‘cause I don’t exercise much. Maybe being pink has changed that. I don’t even feel like sleeping even though I’ve been awake for..” He attempted to count, but couldn’t bring himself to settle on a number. “Hmm. It’s hard to keep track of time when you’re on a different planet.”

“Uh, what’s sleeping?”

“Wow. It’s like, when you’re very still and your eyes are closed and not aware of what’s going on and you’re just resting.”

“Is that the same as being poofed?”

“What?” He thought back to the magical island Steven dragged him to once and, despite the unpleasant feeling in his heart when he thought about how -she- had protected him, felt like he understood. “Oh, you mean when your physical form disappears and your gem just falls on the ground?”

“Yeah!”

“I don’t know. I guess you could try it without being having to be poofed. But, uh, maybe when we’re somewhere safe.”

“Maybe we’ll try it?” One Twin asked the other. “Yeah, I’d like to try!” came the reply.

“I can’t believe you don’t know what sleeping is. One of the gems back on Earth sleeps wherever she can. I’ve found her sleeping in trees, on the roof of the Big Donut, in the dumpster behind the Big Donut-” And the implications of the conversation suddenly hit him. “You mean you guys have lived down here for thousands of years and you don’t even sleep? Holy crap that sounds painful. How did you pass the time!?”

“Meh. We’re used to it.” Came the simple response from a shrugging Rhodonite.

Meanwhile, Lars’ mind was racing. Was he like that now, too? Unwilling to be left alone to think his own thoughts too long, he piped up again.

“SO.. what’s on the other side of this tunnel?”

“One of Blue Diamond’s kindergartens that we’ll have to climb,” replied a Twin. 

“Oh yeah? And that will put us closer to the spaceport?”

“Unless Homeworld has changed, yes. But Homeworld never changes much.”

“I heard Yellow Diamond built a new Extraction Chamber just a couple thousand years ago,” said Rhodonite, earning the immediate attention of both Rutiles.

“What! This is the first time I’ve heard about this.”

“No, I feel like I told you already.”

“When?”

“Oh, at least a few hundred years ago, I mentioned it. I don’t recall exactly when.”

“Oh no,” the Twins despaired. “If one thing has changed, how do we know that other things haven’t changed too?” 

“I predict you three will soon start being silly and will need to focus on the task at hand,” Padparadscha said helpfully.

“How are we being silly?!”

“Padparadscha’s right, we can’t afford to squabble,” Lars surprised himself by saying this. “If something’s wrong with this plan, we’ll just have to change it when we know more. We’ll.. figure it out.”

Rhodonite and the Twins exchanged glances, and nodded.

Suddenly, a noise. They were almost at the bridge, and they could hear approaching footsteps. At least two sets. A quiet panic settled upon the small group and without thinking, they assumed their normal defensive positions. Positions that were effective against robonoids, but not so much against alert gems with eyes. While Fluorite clung to the underside of the ledge they were on, the four remaining fled right into the back of the nearest exit hole and huddled there awkwardly.

“I thought I heard something,” for a moment, the hole-dwellers could see a purple figure moving past the outside. Luckily the exit hole lined up at about chest-level relative to the gems outside - as a result, they couldn’t readily see in. “I think they’re moving up the spiral!”

Another figure moved into view and stayed there a little longer. “I don’t see anything,” a husky voice cut the silence.

A third, unseen figure announced her presence in a more commanding way. “Get up there right now and check it out! We can’t return empty-handed. You know what we’re looking for - A couple of humans! Yeah, one has a gem, somehow, but either way it should be simple!”

“I don’t even know what a human looks like.”

“They’re small, dull and weak and if we can’t find them, what does that say about us? Now let’s go! And don’t forget to use your deflectors if one of those things targets you, or you’re as good as shattered!”

“Right, boss!”

Immediately, the three of them leapt upwards, continuing the hunt. An unbearable moment passed before the three gems and human felt it was safe to even exhale.

“Amethysts,” breathed Padparadscha. “They’re coming!”

“Those are Amethysts? The one on Earth is much smaller.”

“Those were Amethysts all right, huge warriors.” Rhodonite shuddered. “I almost dissipated my form.”

She started crawling out of the cramped space. “C’mon Padparadscha, after you.”

Once they were all out in the open once more, they quickly ran for the bridge, crossed it, and soon entered the dark tunnel. 

Rhodonite carefully placed Padparadscha on the ground and leaned against the wall, her chest gem lighting the place up. “Alright, head count. Fluorite? Where are you?”

She jumped a little startled at Fluorite’s gigantic face came into view. “Here I am.”

“That was way too close,” said a Twin. “I didn’t expect to see any other gems down here.”

“We should keep moving,” Lars wiped beads of sweat off the side of his head, and all of a sudden noticed his hands were empty. “Oh crap, my club!” He glanced back down the tunnel, realizing he’d dropped it somewhere in the hurry.

“Forget it,” a Rutile said as they started moving off into the darkness. “Let’s just go.”

Some time later - again Lars struggled to place a number on the exact amount - they approached the exit. Lars poked his head out briefly to see another really big kingergarten, much the same as the one they just left. This one appeared a lot quieter.

Rhodonite sighed. “We should wait here until we know for sure.”

“Or,” ventured a Rutile Twin, “Will the search soon spill over into this kindergarten,” “When they realize there’s no one in the other one?”

“That’s a possibility,” Rhodonite frowned.

“Where is the spaceport from here?” Asked Lars, brow furrowed in thought.

“It’s all the waaaay up above the surface,” Rhodonite replied, pointing up.

Lars took a step out of the tunnel and stood on the ledge, looking towards where Rhodonite was pointing, shortly followed by Padparadscha.

“Everyone, I’ve just had an amazing premonition. The Blue Diamond kindergarten - we will be much safer there for a while!”

“That cinches it,” said Lars. “We gotta do this. Same plan as before. Let’s go.”

Although the ascent was slow, it was also much quieter but the group still kept their wits about them. Every now and then there would be some distant noise and it would send them scurrying into hiding, but they continued their interminable ascent and eventually pulled themselves up into the near-light of the planet’s barren, shadowed surface.

Lars often went first. Not having a gem made him a tough customer for most of the things they’d seen so far. He’d been given a boost by Rhodonite and, after a first glance to ensure the area was safe, he pulled himself up and out once again back onto the bleak surface of Homeworld. He reached back down the hole to help Padparadscha, who was being hauled up by Rhodonite. The other gems followed suit. 

“We’ll need to get our bearings,” said a Rutile as they pulled themselves up. “We need to reach higher ground.”

“Hold it right there!” Growled a rough voice as a figure emerged from behind a stone pillar. An Amethyst. Her eyes widened as she started to take stock of what she was dealing with and revealed a destabilizer. “..Fusions.. Defectives!”

A second Amethyst appeared and joined her friend.

Rhodonite shook. “We’re done for!”

“No!” “Please!” The Rutile Twins stepped back as Fluorite placed a hand on each of her friend’s shoulders.

Padparadscha clasped her hands together solemnly. “My friends, I regret to say that I’ve had a very grim vision indeed.”

Lars’ mind raced. He recognized the weapon from his time in the ship that abducted him and Steven. Its’ purpose was to ‘disrupt a gem’s physical form’, he recalled the kid saying. Surely it couldn’t hurt him.. aside from looking a little pointy, he admitted. One call from this Amethyst could have the whole place swarming with her friends in a second. He made a bet with himself that the weapon couldn’t hurt him, and took a step towards the newcomer with a thought in his head about somehow taking it from her. “H-hey, c’mon, we can talk about this.”

The Amethyst clearly tried to pin a name on this strange looking being. “What are you supposed to be?”

Lars held up his hands and opened his mouth, but he did not want to say ‘a human’. “..D-definately a gem!”

Glaring, she swung the weapon around and pointed it straight at him. “Stay still! I’ll disrupt you!”

Lars complied, and so did the terrified gems behind him. The second Amethyst, unable to take this much longer, looked at her friend.

“Remember what we were talking about? Yes they’re freaks and rebels, but these are gems,” she said softly, motioning towards the Off Colors. “Gems just like us. With, with feelings and thoughts.”

A long moment passed, broken again only by the Amethyst who had just been speaking.

“I know you only want to prove yourself, 5EH. But.. this?”

The first Amethyst groaned, defeated, and lowered her weapon before turning and walking away. “Just.. go. Get out of here.”

“What?!” Piped Rhodonite.

The other Amethyst glanced back at the group. “We’re only looking for some loose organics, one is supposed to have a gem somehow,” she explained. “Have you seen anything like that around here?”

The five Off Colors all silently shook their heads.

“Okay,” sighed the Amethyst and she started moving off, following in the direction her friend had gone. “Good luck.”

They stood and watched, tense with disbelief, as the last Amethyst disappeared around a nearby corner.


	3. The Surface.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Leaving the compromised kindergartens in their dust, the Off Colors test the waters of Homeworld above ground and start to bump up against a new set of challenges.

Lars didn’t notice the gems had snuck up behind him until it was too late. Rhodonite grabbed him and hugged him, huge smile on her face. Uncomfortable at first, he soon relaxed and just went with it and laughed as Padparadscha joined in.

Fluorite sighed. “We shouldn’t be celebrating. That was too lucky.”

“They thought you were a gem!” Rhodonite exclaimed, smiling. “Which makes sense, since you’re pink now.” 

She placed him back on his own two gravity connectors, stepped back to look at him, and quickly frowned.

“Strange appearance modifiers for a gem to have, though. Even an Off Color.”

“My.. clothes? What’s wrong with my threads?” He asked. “They’re only slightly ripped. The one on my knee was actually intentional. It looks badass.”

Rhodonite stared. “..Bad-ass? Lars, since you turned pink, you could easily look more like a gem, but not in these - rags? You’re going to have to shapeshift a different outfit. It will make things much easier.”

“Not a gem. Can’t shapeshift,” came Lars’ deadpan reply. Rhodonite narrowed her four eyes, trying to think. “Now that we’re on the surface, can’t we hit up a.. an ‘appearance modifier’ store?” he suggested.

“Well, there may be a way,” said Fluorite. “Homeworld imports organic materials from distant colonies all the time to craft into furnishings for important gems.”

“We could find a nearby fabrication facility and at least try..” mused Rhodonite, attempting to game it out in her head.

Lars folded his arms. “Well, if you guys think it’s important, I’m down for a side quest.”

“I think we should try,” said Fluorite.

“Either way, we should try to look the part,” reasoned a Twin. The other continued, “Well, those of us who can anyway.”

Fluorite took the hint. “I can’t stay unfused for long. Should the Twins and I wait here while-”

Lars was wide-eyed, brow furrowed, incapable of thinking how to solve that issue. “No no no, we can’t split up! That’s the worst thing to do. I don’t know how, but we need to stick together.”

In a flash of light, Rhodonite unfused.

“Rhodonite?!” Lars, wholly unaccustomed to seeing gems unfuse, was having trouble figuring out what he was seeing.

Pearl curtsied. “Hello Lars.”

“Lars! It’s us, don’t worry.” Smiled Ruby and she reached up to hold Pearl’s hand. “We’re still Rhodonite! But I’m Ruby and she’s Pearl!” She jumped excitedly. “A lot of fusions don’t fit into normal gem society, so.. we’re unfused now! To hide!”

“Yes, and Padparadscha, being a sapphire, is still technically a high-ranking gem, so she should be okay, however..” here, Pearl turned to the remaining gems. “Fluorite, Twins, we need to stay small and inconspicuous. So I thought, I can smuggle you both through the upper levels of Homeworld. If you want me to.”

“Huh?” ventured Lars, helpfully.

“Yeah,” said Ruby. “It’s risky, but it’s the only way we can stay together. But don’t eat Lars’ ‘food’, okay? She’ll need it later.”

The corner of Lars’ mouth twitched uncomfortably at the odd choice of pronoun, but the Rutiles agreed to the terms before he could say anything and then the moment was lost.

“Okay, pull us out when it’s safe,” “or if there’s trouble!”

“Good luck!”

Suddenly, Pearl’s pearl glowed, and Fluorite and The Twins disappeared into it in a flash of light. 

“I will try to be helpful in the event that we may become cornered,” Padparadscha contributed.

Lars couldn’t help but stare at the two new gems. “I- so, you, uh, you’re..?”

“We’re the two halves of Rhodonite,” explained Pearl. “And Rhodonite is us, fused together.”

“And.. you could have had everyone hanging out in your pearl this whole time?” Asked Lars, deeply confused.

Pearl smiled nervously. “Well, like Ruby said, it’s.. risky. If-”

Ruby jumped in excitedly. “If we’re poofed, or worse, -shattered- with gems inside our pearl, who knows what will happen to them!”

Pearl nodded gravely. “Yes. Having everyone out while we were down there always gave everyone their best chance at survival. Things.. things on the surface should be different if we can pass as.. normal gems for a while.”

Ruby laughed anxiously. “Maybe!”

Lars nodded slowly, vaguely understanding. “Sh-should I go in there too, then?”

“Hmm,” considered Pearl. “No, no. We’ll need you out here in case we have any sensors to deal with.”

“Yeah,” came Ruby’s enthusiastic agreement. “It’s been so long since we were out in the open, we have no idea what it’s going to be like!”

“We’ll have Padparadscha. No one really questions the movements of mysterious sapphires, so maybe.. you’ll be.. safe?” Pearl smiled awkwardly, shrugging.

Lars looked pretty nervous. “Right, well, we can’t stay here, hah. So, where are we going?”

Pearl held her Ruby’s hand tightly. “We need to get up to street level and figure out exactly where we are. We should be able to find a fabrication facility from there. Luckily the local area is the main administrative center for this Sector. We should have all the necessities for running an empire here within walking distance.”

“Cool, so, how do we do that?” Asked Lars, attempting to scan the distance but having to squint. It was the first time he’d seen something resembling sunlight in what he supposed were days. “When me and Steven first fell down here, it was a real long drop.”

“Hey,” said Ruby. “That looks like..”

She ran ahead, dragging Pearl with her, up to the base of a building. “It is! I used to guard this spire - This will get us up high! Grab on, everyone!”

“Are you sure?” Pearl was hesitant. “There are other ways..”

“Trust me! I know this spire, I used to climb it all the time because guarding stuff is boring. We’ll go straight up. It should put us out onto a place where we can see stuff!”

Ruby started to climb as Pearl grabbed around her waist and Pearl motioned for Lars to grab on too. He awkwardly put his arms around her shoulders, and allowed Padparadscha to grab onto his waist. He was extremely surprised the moment they left the ground.

“What even are gems,” he muttered to himself.

After what he guessed were a couple of hundred meters, they arrived at a platform and climbed up onto it. Suddenly, in the full light of Homeworld’s day star, Lars had to blink to focus his eyes. The bleak, dreary surface of Homeworld was a stark contrast to this world above - a beautiful, colourful architectural peculiarity with a skyline the likes of which he’d never seen on Earth, or even on TV. He was spellbound for a moment. The last time he’d been up here, he was terrified. But now in this empty thing resembling a street suspended high off the ground, as his vision slowly readjusted to full daylight, he unexpectedly found that he could appreciate the beauty of it all.

Meanwhile, Ruby and Pearl, being gems, were already adjusted to the light and attempting to make plans of the navigational variety as Padparadscha looked around seemingly as spellbound as he was. When she brushed her hair away from her face for a better look, he had to double-take.

“EYE.. h-haven’t seen anything like this before.” He quickly covered his startled faux-pas, mentally kicking himself.

She merely smiled back at him and said, “Neither. I never get to come to the street level. I have a vision that it’s nice.”

“I have it,” Pearl decided. “The fabrication facility is with the setting star, and left.”

“I still feel like it’s to the right of the palace from here,” Ruby pointed. Lars saw the gigantic, glimmering white bust of a woman absolutely dwarfing everything around it far off in the distance. He remembered it, from another angle, from the fall.

“No,” retorted Pearl, “That’s completely wrong.”

“What’s that?” He pointed.

“That’s White Diamond’s ship, it’s been docked on top of the palace’s imperial spaceport for the last few millennia, and she’s always in there. She never leaves.” replied Pearl, laughing anxiously. “Let’s stay away from there! Well away. Let’s not even acknowledge it - just keep moving.”

“Yeah,” said Ruby. “To the right of the thing we can’t speak about.”

Pearl rolled her eyes. “Ruby, let’s just do my thing. Okay?”

Sulking hard, Ruby folded her arms. “Fine!”

Footsteps, and suddenly a small battalion of gems were advancing towards them.

“Stay calm, everyone - I’m having a premoni-”

“Ahem!” said Pearl, quickly pushing Padparadscha in front of them. Taking the cue, she started walking along calmly, followed by her escort. Lars followed along dumbly, crowding Pearl subtly in order to conceal himself - the only part of this he understood was the apparently universal unwritten rule that if you acted in confidence, no one will question you.

“My Clarity,” greeted the apparent leader of the passing gems, accompanying her statement with an odd salute. The whole affair seeming to Lars to be a formality in passing. Padparadscha nodded respectfully and continued leading her entourage. The closer to their destination they got, the more the streets began to throng with groups of gems heading to their destinations; The more they received passing glances that turned into double-takes. It soon dawned on Pearl that they were starting to be noticed, and she soon found it necessary to direct Padparadscha into what appeared to be a quiet side street, and they were essentially alone again. They continued walking, until suddenly Padparadscha squealed. Her form momentarily glitched as she fell backwards, landing hard on her hands and butt. Ruby ran up to help her while Pearl gasped and Lars once again had no idea what he was looking at.

“Padparadscha! Are you okay?” cried Ruby.

“Ah! A forcefield!” She remarked after a couple of moments as she allowed Ruby to help her up. She touched her touchstumps to her face pensively. “Be careful, I just had a very painful vision.”

Pearl walked over and lightly touched a touchstump to the shimmering patch of light that appeared to be blocking the rest of the sidestreet. “Ouch, my touchstump!”

“What, so we go back to the main street or whatever?” asked Lars.

Pearl explained. “Most of those gems back there are focused on their tasks, enough to not notice us too closely. But--”

Ruby spread her arms wide. “But the citrines! The agates? Those that enforce the order of the Great Diamond Authority?! They will notice us for sure! Argh! How did we ever think this would work!?” She hugged Pearl, sobbing a little. “A defective orange sapphire! A scruffy pink human in ruined fabric?? And all I wanna do is be Rhodonite again! I can’t stand it! What are we going to do, Pearl?”

“We have to try, don’t we?” piped Lars. “We were only waiting to be shatter-killed back in that cave. We’ve come all this way, we evaded those robonoids, all those gems.. and we were doing okay until the street got crowded..”

“I-it’s not that simple,” said Pearl, quietly, as she dutifully comforted her crying Ruby. “Our place of hiding was invaded, we were safe there. And we let you inspire us, and we.. we allowed you take on great personal risks for us. But.. none of us belong up here. Or on Earth. We’re just as trapped out here as we ever were in that kindergarten.”

Lars felt the familiar panic attempt to seize his mind. But it was up to him to keep this going.

“-I- belong on Earth, and I want all you guys to be there with me. Rhodo-I mean, Pearl, Ruby - you deserve to be free from this horrible place. We all do. Homeworld -sucks-! You two together, yes, you have flaws, who doesn’t? I sure do. But you, you’re also a strategic genius! You got us out of there, and we’ve only made it this far now because of you.”

He stomped around and pointed down the street, forcing himself to feel the conviction he was trying to muster.

“We are so close to completing this stupid side quest! If we need to get over there, we’ll hecking do it. We’ll get to Earth too, eventually! But there’s no way any of us can do it alone. We need to do this together!” Suddenly, he faltered. “W-why.. are you all staring at me like that?”

“The barrier-” breathed Ruby, standing up and blinking away her tears.

Lars turned to find he’d unintentionally stuck half his arm straight through it, with no ill effects. The light crackled slightly as it stopped dead against the bare pink skin of his arm. He burst into relieved laughter as he waved it through, feeling only a negligible resistance as the forcefield otherwise allowed him to do whatever he wanted. He stepped through it with no trouble.

“Guys! I’m immune to this big ol’ stupid piece of gem tech too,” he called out from beyond the barrier. “We can definitely use this.”

He stuck both his arms into the forcefield and found that he could manipulate the current to some extent. It seemed to be emanating top-down, and he quickly found that he could create a non-field that Ruby and Padparadscha could walk under (and Pearl duck under) with ease.

“You actually won’t believe my latest vision,” exclaimed Padparadscha as she walked through the breach in the field.

“I’m sure we won’t, Padparadscha,” Pearl chuckled, and then turned to Lars and Padparadscha. “Look, I’m sorry for how we acted-”

“Me especially!” Said Ruby. “That was very unprofessional of me. Sorry Lars, sorry Padparadscha.”

“Oh, I predict I’ll soon receive an unnecessary apology. Don’t put yourself through the trouble.”

Lars smiled wholesomely at his friends. “Nah, save it for when we’re on Earth. C’mon guys.”

“Oh! Two unnecessary apologies.”

Morale renewed, they moved off towards the goal of their side quest.


	4. The Cape.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Off Colors strike a very important item from their 'To Do' list before the final push toward leaving Homeworld.

Up ahead stood a relatively humble building, by Homeworld’s standards. It was unguarded.

Also up ahead a bit beyond - a trio of giant warrior woman gems. They were orange, and gave Lars a police-y vibe. They hadn’t been seen yet. The four fugitives took this slim window of opportunity to jump into the doorway. Pearl worked the panel briefly and soon they were standing inside. The door slid shut just as the citrines passed by.

It had a very pretty interior, fabrics flowing from ceiling to floor in all manner of colors and patterns. There were crates and boxes filled to the brim with soft furnishings. Lars found himself quite taken aback by it all, having until now only seen very hard, sharp and solid designs and architecture since having landed. The last thing he ever expected to see in a world like this one, were cushions.

“Weird,” he muttered to himself.

“Who’s there? You’re early!” A greenish-blue gem stepped into view on the other side of the room.

Pearl gasped quietly. “A Turquoise!”

“If you’re here for your Emerald’s silken throws, you’ll need to - wait.”

The new gem stood still, having not expected guests.

“..What- Hello! I’m sorry, My Clarity.” The gem performed the diamond salute hastily. “I certainly wasn’t expecting a visit from a Sapphire, especially such a.. a rare one as yourself.”

Pearl, Ruby and Lars gazed from the stranger down to their little friend Padparadscha. After a couple of moments, the orange gem smiled.

“Oh! I’m hav- I had a premonition you wouldn’t be expecting me. That is understandable.”

“To what do I owe the honor of this visit?” Turquoise smiled awkwardly.

The Off Colours all looked at each other. They hadn’t really thought that far ahead.

“Our, our Emerald,” began Pearl, “Was..”

“Concerned!” added Ruby, “About..”

“..The.. quality,” supplied Lars, “of the previous shipment.”

Turquoise stared for a moment, and then all of a sudden looked like she had just been stabbed. “Oh! Oh no! W-what was the problem? I can assure you that-”

“If I may be so bold as to speak on behalf of my Sapphire..” Suggested Pearl in a meaningful way.

“You may,” Padparadscha responded happily.

“We’ve been sent ahead to personally check the new shipment before it leaves this facility.”

Turquoise, looking personally wounded, nodded. “O-of course. Please, come right this way.”

She led them deeper into the facility into a docking area where many great crates stood, filled to the brim with beautiful furnishings. The far wall was open to the outside - clearly a docking station. They soon stood around one in particular as Turquoise twiddled her opposable touchstumps anxiously.

“Cushions, drapery, I think you’ll find that the contents fit the order we received.”

“Yes,” admitted Padparadscha after a few moments. “It appears it does.”

Pearl cleared her throat. “But, My Clarity, what about..”

Padparadscha stared and Pearl glanced at the other two, struggling.

“The.. appearance.. modifiers?” ventured Lars.

Padparadscha smiled for a moment, and then frowned. “Of course!”

Pearl turned to Turquoise. “Surely you received the second, special order?”

Turquoise’s countenance dropped. “..W-with respect, Clarity, we don’t usually craft appearance modif-”

“That’s what the other place said,” bullshitted Lars.

“Which is why Our Emerald thought she could entrust you with the order,” Pearl finished, trying hard not to look pleased.

Turquoise looked devastated. “Right, right! Well, I can fix this! Please, just, wait here, give me a moment to liaise with my team and we can have this whole debacle sorted out swiftly.”

Without awaiting a response, she ran off at full tilt.

“Okay,” breathed Lars, after they were completely alone. “What are you doing?”

Pearl looked confused. “But we have to wait for-”

“Heck with that!” Lars raised his arms. “Let’s take stuff and run!”

“But this isn’t..”

“The longer we stay here, the more likely we’re going to get caught out somehow. Believe me - that’s how I got a two-year ban from Totally Games.”

“Huh?” Enquired Ruby.

“We’ll learn how to sew.. Or something! It’ll just be an extra step. Let’s go!”

Pearl immediately set about stowing the contents of the crate in her gem, while Ruby and Lars cast about and grabbed up all the tools they could find. They exited quickly through the doors and off into the sunset.

They ran until they were back within the apparent safety of the barrier.

“No one will think to look for a bunch of unruly gems in this blocked-off side street,” said Ruby, breathing a sigh of relief while hugging Pearl. “Maybe we’re safe for now.”

Rhodonite reformed in a flash. Lars blinked.

“Oh! I’m back,” Rhodonite laughed nervously. “I didn’t mean to.. not yet.”

“It’s okay, I guess it’s safe for now until we have a new plan,” said Lars, glancing around. Even though the daystar was setting, Homeworld was still bright and glimmering. He could see, off in the distance, an area with a steady stream of spacecraft coming and going.

“Speaking of, is that it?”

“Yeah,” replied Rhodonite. “It’s.. a bit further away than I imagined. But that can wait. How are you doing? Are you tired yet? Do you need your food?”

Lars narrowed his eyes. “No.. and, no. I’m fine. Like, none of that was tiring. Or at least, it’s nothing that a short rest won’t fix.” He paused for a moment, sinking at the shoulders. “I don’t even know how long it’s been anymore. This isn’t normal, at all, by the way. I don’t want you guys to have any weird ideas about humans. Usually we have to do these things as well as drink heaps of water or we.. uh, die. Painfully.”

Rhodonite smiled and patted his shoulder, trying to cheer the kid up. “Well, lucky you’re pink now then because I have no idea where we’d ever go to get you more food around here. However, I am starting to feel like I could try that sleep-thing. That sounded relaxing.”

Padparadscha bunched her dress together at the front before sitting down. “Me too. However, it’ll have to wait until we are actually safe.”

“You mean on Earth?” Asked Lars.

“On Earth,” agreed Rhodonite, followed by Padparadscha seconds later.

“Padparadscha,” asked Rhodonite, “Do you have any feelings about the future at all?”

The much smaller gem paused. “None. I never do. But for the very first time, I am excited to see what it will be like.”

They sat together for a while, watching the city skyline glowing in front of them as the sky gradually became darker and darker. After a time, they decided they were safe enough to bring out their hidden friends and Rhodonite soon produced them from her pearl.

The Rutile Twins glanced around. “We’re.. out in the open.” “It’s safe?”

“For now,” said Rhodonite.

The first Twin sighed. “Fluorite, you weren’t finished making your surprise yet.”

“That’s okay, it’s almost ready anyway.”

A smiling Fluorite produced a deep red shirt, a pair of white pants, a pair of boots, gloves, and an extremely good-looking cape each in one of her extraneous graspers.

Lars gasped and stood up. “Wh- you made all this?”

The Twins smiled. “I helped.” “I helped too!”

“This is amazing! I thought it was still going to have to be a whole ‘nother thing.”

“I used the Twins for general sizing. And there was a lot of green to dig through.. but just enough red and pink tones to complement your hue. If anything is too big, I can still take it in. I’m almost finished the cape.” Said Fluorite at length before turning back to the cape with her needle and thread.

“Go on,” said the Twins. “Put it on!”

“Yeah, okay!” He hesitated. “Uh.. Where can I get changed?”

He was met with questioning looks, since nobody understood.

“Uh. Privately?” He added.

“It’s okay, we shapeshift in front of each other all the time,” said Rhodonite.

“I predict Lars will be uncomfortable doing that, because it’s different for humans.”

“Oh, well, maybe behind that statue? And we won’t look.”

Lars glanced at the a beautifully intricate stone carving of a gem warrior a couple of yards from them, and then back at her, his whole stance uncertain. “Promise?”

“Sure, come on everyone. Let’s look over here. Away from Lars.”

As soon as even Padparadscha was facing the other way, he disappeared behind the nearby statue for a few minutes. When he returned, he cut a much more respectable figure.

“Guys, how do I look?”

Rhodonite carefully turned around. When she saw him, she smiled widely. “Wow!”

“Lars,” said the Twins, “You look great!”

“You might be able to pass for a kunzite, if you’re standing back a bit.” Rhodonite was excited. “Maybe. O-or a pink tourmaline..”

“Possibly even a spinel or pezzottaite,” contributed Flourite. “But, you know, from Era Two.”

Lars squinted, mouthing the unfamiliar syllables and Fluorite continued fussing around him a little. “I still need to take the shirt in a little more, and-”

“Oh, Lars, this is a perfect vision! You could pass as some kind of rare pink gem!” chirped Padparadscha happily.

“Let’s keep it vague,” suggested Lars. “Still not a gem.”

“Either way, you look pretty important.” Rhodonite clasped her graspers together.

“That will mean the difference between getting to Earth and being broken,” added Fluorite. “Ah, here’s your cape.”

He accepted the cape as she passed it to him, and held it out in front of him. “Hah, it’s pretty cool, but why would I need a cape? It’s too much.”

Rhodonite looked confused. “Every captain wears a cape, Lars.”

He snorted. “..Me?” And then was blushing furiously. “N-no - I’m just some dumb kid, not a captain. I-I.. The only reason I’m even here right now is because I ran away from-”

“Hey, I don’t know what ‘dumb kid’ means,” said a Twin, “but you’re the whole reason we’re out here, remember.” “You’re why we are going to Earth.”

 

* * *

 

“What are you talking about?” Asked Emerald, having been stopped at the spaceport foot-exit and already bored. Her inferior relayed the message again, whispering it into her listeners.

“Hmm. Well, get back on the communicator and tell Turquoise that I didn’t send any sapphire with an entourage to ‘check’ on the quality of the next shipment. I have never been dissatisfied with the level of quality I have received so far. Sounds like it was due to her own negligence that she was deceived by some rogue gems. I still expect my shipment to be at my chambers on Klavius VII when I return there in five cycles. Go let her know that.”

The inferior gem saluted and shuffled away, and Emerald watched with disdain. Really, such issues - annoying as they were - happened to be beneath her. She had more important matters to attend to during her brief visit to Homeworld, and she had every intention of doing so as soon as she could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have another chapter! 
> 
> I had considered a number of options as far as how Lars got his sweet new look.. but ultimately decided it was funnier if they stole the materials and the grandmotherly fusion sewed it together for him. Who knows - maybe one of her components used to be a seamstress. The universe is vast and full of possibility.


	5. The Spaceport.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being in public is like walking a tightrope over knives, especially in enemy territory.

There had been some discussion regarding the best way to get over to the spaceport throughout Homeworld’s relatively brightly-lit night. Lars had lain on his back, arms behind his head, watching the disturbingly unfamiliar stars while he listened. The cape - folded neatly, unworn - lay beside him on the ground. Talk of them remaining street-level hadn’t really appealed to him, but neither did scrambling across the planet’s surface where there were potentially threats like robonoids and more of those amethysts - assuming they were even still down here. Man, they had lucked hard out there. It stood to reason that such a militant class of gem wouldn’t suffer conscientious objectors in their ranks for long. 

He soon noticed they were looking at him, as if awaiting his input.

“Uh.. maybe we find more awesome closed-off side streets like this one? Why is this one even closed in the first place?”

“There won’t be many like this. They could be trying to make traffic more efficient. This is kind of a useless sidestreet. Nothing comes out onto it from the buildings. Pretty, though. The way it overlooks the Administrative Facet,” Rhodonite mused gently. “I expect they’ll demolish it and put something else here in the next few hundred years.”

“Hah,” chucked Lars. “That’s about how fast local government works in my town too.”

Fluorite sighed slowly. “We should hurry and make a decision. We’ll be more noticeable soon in the daylight, and we can’t go backwards.”

“Well, the surface is too open,” Lars reasoned. “Robonoids can come from any angle down there - there aren’t any exit-holes to hide in, so it’d be way harder to protect you guys.” He hesitated. “I.. kind of want to use the streets. Besides, shouldn’t we get used to being around other gems?”

His cohorts seemed reluctant, but he persisted.

“It just.. seems like we’ll be having to deal with a lot of them at the spaceport. Didn’t you notice how crazy busy it’s been all night?” He pointed over into the distance. “There’s like, three ships taking off right now. That place will be crawling with gems.”

“You’re right,” admitted Rhodonite, stunned. “We’ll hide in plain sight. Aargh, but it's so dangerous!”

“But we’d need to look and act like a real crew anyway to even get in there in the first place,” said Fluorite.

Lars frowned and raised a hand to his chin in thought. “But, yeah, not all of us can be in public so easily..”

Fluorite closed her eyes, smiling. “If I unfuse, the six of us can easily conceal the Twins.”

“But, Fluorite, you said you can’t stay apart for long-” Lars said, dubious.

“It’s unanimous,” started Fluorite, before Rhodonite took over in a much faster cadence.

“When Fluorite unfuses, it’s for a reason. To complete a task bigger than herself,” came Rhodonite’s explanation as she stowed away Lars’ old ripped clothes. “Same goes for me, but it’s harder for Fluorite I guess because she is so many gems! But, any decent fusion can put themselves aside until the task is complete. Even if it’s horrible and scary! Now, put on your cape and play your role.”

“I knew it,” smirked Lars, relenting and putting on the cape. “You only want me to lead figurehead-style.”

“Whatever you’d like to tell yourself, Captain Lars,” replied the newly-unfused Pearl.

Lars soon found himself reluctantly wearing the cape he didn’t feel he’d deserved, surrounded by eleven alien women, his mind reeling. Most of the Fluorite components, all clustered together, were small enough to surround the Twins to the point where it seemed that they were two singular gems while Pearl, Ruby and Padparadscha took up the lead with Lars and he held the barrier open for all of them. Soon, they were walking in an orderly fashion onto the main street as Homeworld’s daystar broke the horizon and the sky began to lighten.

From the outside, they seemed like a normal team of gems, with a purpose to go about. Lars was surprised to notice that they were almost consistently given right of way, except for certain rare situations that he couldn’t see a pattern beyond whether the leading gem was bigger or more scared-looking than him. He noticed that Pearl and Ruby had fallen a bit behind - only Padparadscha was keeping stride. He turned and kind of motioned for them to come up.

“What are you doing?” He whispered. “Don’t leave us up here alone!”

“Yes,” chimed Padparadscha. “I have no idea where we’re going.”

“Oh, right!” muttered Ruby as she and Pearl stepped back up.

Pearl smiled. “Sorry Lars. The fact is, pearls are servants and rubies are guards. In reality, we’re of no consequence. We would never be walking alongside a captain or a sapphire. Neither would any of the others.”

“That’s grim,” said Lars, pretty surprised. “The Pearl who is like Steven’s aunt on Earth seems super important.”

“Really!?”

“Look at that,” remarked Ruby, pointing in disbelief. “Look at that Jasper, she’s even saluting!”

“Ruby,” chided Pearl, nervously. “Where are your manners!”

Lars, unsure of what to do, nodded cordially at the Jasper in response, and then went back to quietly freaking out. “That big orange woman flippin’ saluted me?! N-no.. it was meant for Padparadscha, right?”

“I predict the Jasper will salute Lars out of a vague notion that she is more important due to the size of her entourage and presence of both Pearl and myself.”

Lars was super awkward, and not only because of the admittedly understandable odd pronoun choices the gems sometimes made regarding him. He made another mental note to address it later on when their lives were a little less in danger - whenever that might be. For now, however, their attention was grabbed by the chatter of a couple of passing aristocratic-looking gems.

“You haven’t heard? A rogue gem and some organics - humans, they called them, giant ungainly creatures - were loose on the surface, but they haven’t been found..”

A nearby crew of bismuths hauling a giant metal slab between them were conversing amongst themselves about the same subject. “An organic gem mutant? That’s terrifying, I hope it gets found soon!”

“Too bad we weren’t assigned to the task of capturing the hybrid creatures down in the ancient kindergartens,” commented a passing Ruby to one of her fellow soldiers. “We would have found them all already, and brought them in front of Yellow Diamond before last daystar-rise! Because -nothing- gets past us!”

“Yeah!” the rest of her troupe hyped.

Lars laughed a little despite himself and caught the notice of the ruby who had been speaking. He abruptly stopped. She instantly saluted him and led her troupe onward.

In the midst of all these snowballing rumors and oddly respectful strangers, a wave of something resembling confidence appeared to settle over the crew of Off Colors. It was an odd feeling, a new one, and while all of them had a profound inkling that it was never to be taken for granted, for the meantime it made each one of them step with a newfound sense of purpose.

“Maybe things are gunna be okay,” sighed Ruby, causing Pearl to smile and take her hand.

“Yeah,” determined an emboldened Pearl, right before the moment was ruined by a passing Emerald who stopped, forcing her small personal entourage to grind to a halt behind her. 

“My Emerald?” one of her subordinates inquired, confused by the abrupt stop.

“Do you realize,” she began, addressing Lars, “That your Pearl and Ruby are -holding- each other? With their.. touchstumps?”

The two gems in question immediately separated, embarrassed and ashamed. Lars was speechless.

“Aaahh-”

“It’s disgusting,” she continued, glaring at Lars. “You shouldn’t have to tolerate it.”

“Uh, sure thing, I’ll, er, have words with them later, my, err, Emerald.” stammered Lars in response. He heard Pearl clear her throat in a meaningful way, and he quickly tossed a diamond salute into the mix.

Emerald seemed mildly satiated by this act of deference, but continued to narrow her eyes at him, probing him.

“So, you’re the captain of this.. crew? Impressive that you have a Pearl, and a Sapphire entrusted to your care. I hope they all don’t act like that. What sort of gem are you, exactly?”

Lars racked his brain, and to his tongue came the rare type of gem Fluorite had mentioned. “Pezzottaite..?”

She was silent for a long moment, pondering this answer.

“Hmmm. Must be an Era Two Pezzottaite. Hah! That explains everything.” She smiled, all sharp teeth. She waved him off in a dismissive manner. “Carry on. But don’t ever let me catch you having to endure such a filthy display again.”

The horde of Off Colors quietly watched Emerald and her posse disappear into the throngs of gem traffic. Being knocked down a peg or two after such a confidence kick was certainly demoralizing - Lars saw it written all over their faces when he turned.

“Guys,” hushed Lars. “Don’t worry-”

Padparadscha interrupted. “Oh, we’re going to be.. fine! We just can’t afford to get carried away so easily.”

Nods of agreement came from all around, and soon they picked up their gravity connectors and silently moved onwards, and bystander gems who had stopped to stare at the little incident turned away and continued about their business.

The rest of the walk was comparatively uneventful and eventually they came upon the spaceport. It was a massive, elegant and heavily guarded building situated on a high vantage point, receiving lavish views of the palace and other surrounding areas. 

“It’s big,” a Twin commented, gazing up at it. “Really big!”

“And busy,” commented Ruby, a little scared.

“We just have to play our parts,” Pearl reminded them, pausing to watch an obviously high-ranking gem walk past them and enter the building. “Right, Captain?”

“Right, Pearl,” smiled Lars, eye twitching slightly.

He took a deep breath, and led his crew up to the door. A Topaz guard looked him up and down before barring his way with her weapon. Lars stopped and looked her in the eye trying hard to look pissed, eyebrow raised. She stared back, face unreadable.

It was a tense moment, which diffused suddenly as the Topaz grimaced and backed down. She removed her weapon and looked away as if embarrassed. Lars held it together as he made his way through the automatically sliding door. Once inside, he leaned against a wall and breathed deeply, once, twice, and then a third time. Pearl followed him over and glanced around before placing a hand on his shoulder briefly.

“Captain! You did amazing,” she whispered.

He looked around at the smiling faces of Padparadscha, Ruby and the components of Fluorite still clustered around the Rutiles, and felt a little better. And then he gazed past them, into the belly of the spaceport they had spent so, so very long working towards.


	6. The Shuttle.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Off Colors embark on a new chapter of their journey.

Immediately in front of them was a foyer, a very large one. It was decorated in that lavish gem aesthetic, which Lars was finding less and less alien the longer he spent on this planet. There were guards everywhere, crews milling around. The cacophony and the colors were hard to deal with, alongside the ball of lies they were obligated to maintain at this point. The group had come so far and now that they were finally here, things were beginning to look impossible again.

“How did we think we were going to bullshit our way onto a ship, again?” Lars tried hard to keep his voice calm and controlled. 

The gems all exchanged glances, understanding the alien expletive only from context. Pearl laughed half-heartedly.

“This might be a point at which we need a new plan,” mused Ruby, pouting a little. “Oh I wish Rhodonite was here!”

“Rhodonite can’t be here for this, neither can Fluorite,” Pearl muttered, rubbing her hands together nervously. “We have to figure this out for ourselves.”

“Well, what if we just poofed every member of one of these crews and took their ship!” Ruby was suddenly very excited.

“We could rush in and commandeer one.” “The fastest one here!” Suggested the Twins.

“We could register as a crew and see if we can luck into something,” offered a relatively laid-back Fluorite component.

“We sneak in, get the ship, blast our way out. Easy,” said one of her more hot-headed individuals.

Padparadscha frowned, holding her hands up defensively. “Everyone, I predict that every idea we have will be very stupid. We don’t need to make a scene.”

“She’s right,” said Pearl. “The stealing of a ship is absolutely unheard of on Homeworld. Or.. at least it was last time I was strolling around the surface. Thousands of years ago.”

“So it’s our go-to, again? Just looking the part?” Lars looked crestfallen. “The sneaky-blasty one sounded fun.”

Ruby smiled, pointing at Lars. “You need to both look the part, and wear that look you gave that Topaz outside.”

“Oh! Yes!” Exclaimed Pearl. “That might get us quite far here. Do that. It’s the same sort of look the Emerald gave us.”

“Uhh, Emerald?” Asked a passing gem who, having heard the very end of their conversation, also happened to be a pearl. She saluted immediately. “Excuse me, Captain..”

Lars hesitated. “Pezzottaite..?”

“Yes, of course! Captain Pezzottaite!” she struggled to look like she knew what was going on. “Forgive me, Captain, and My Clarity, I just overheard - you know the Emerald who docked here last cycle?”

Everyone stopped and stared, and Lars soon felt a magnitude of eyes on him, all awaiting his response.

“Y-” He took a breath. “Yes,” he tried to sound confident. “My Emerald. She sent us to get her ship. Something important came up.”

The new Pearl blinked. “Emerald sent all twelve of you?”

“Of course she did, is that a problem?” Lars attempted to give her an indignant look that he really tried to lean into. He knew it worked seconds later, when she sighed. 

“Please, allow me to show you the way.”

*~*~*~*~*

“Two fusions, a pair of Rutiles, a human and a Padparadscha Sapphire sat crammed up in the cockpit of an Emerald’s personal shuttle.” Lars smirked. “Sounds like the setup of the worst joke ever, but here we are.”

The Rutiles, attempting to maneuver the ship to escape Homeworld’s atmosphere, had a bit of trouble with the elbow room available but other than that, everyone seemed in good spirits. Nobody had the heart or even the thought to ask Fluorite to remain unfused any longer after all they’d been through.

“I’m as small as I can be,” Fluorite said, apologetically. “Stow me if you want, Rhodonite.”

Lars shook his head. “No, this is fine, we all deserve to be out here together.”

Rhodonite laughed. “We deserve to be broken and ground into dust for what we just did!” She wiped away a tear. “I can’t believe we’re getting away with it. Oh, I’m a mixture of emotions right now. Sorry for elbowing you in the face just now, Fluorite.”

“No harm done,” came the pleasant reply.

“Exiting Homeworld’s atmosphere soon.” “It may be bumpy.. until it’s not.” said the Rutiles in warning.

Even if Lars’ face wasn’t already being smooshed against the glass, he would have probably been pressing it close anyway as the finer details of the region they’d spent the last however long in quickly blended into the surrounding megacity. After a fair bit of turbulence, he began to see the shattered planet in all it’s terrible glory. 

“This is… Homeworld?” he asked, frowning open mouthed at the dramatic spacescape unfolding slowly before him - broken chunks of planet suspended by a delicate arrangement of either gravity, technology or magic or a blend of all - he couldn’t decide. Two distinct sets of rings arranged in a uniquely alien way around the two main chunks of planet, so different from anything he’d ever learned about his own solar system. Everything on the planet’s surface was beautiful yet sterile and the stark contrast between that and the state of the planet itself disturbed him in a way he felt he couldn’t explain to the gems around him. Organic life - which was everything he knew up until the point at which he left Earth - none of it could possibly thrive on a planet as damaged as Homeworld.

And yet, he had managed to thrive. He briefly wondered what that could mean.

“That’s Homeworld all right,” replied Rhodonite a bit more casually, smiling. “So long, Homeworld! You’ve been horrible to all of us.”

“It’s so broken. That’s.. kinda sad, right?”

“Oh, that. It’s normal. Don’t worry about it. Earth used to be a colony so it must look similar, right?”

“No,” breathed Lars. “Earth looks great compared to this. It’s still a globe.”

“Wow, really?” Rhodonite looked surprised as she turned with some difficulty away from the window. “Pink Diamond really did fail, huh. Well, lucky for us!”

“Homeworld has been this way for a long time,” added Fluorite, unable to move much at all.

“Is this what the Emerald meant by Era Two? Was that when Homeworld broke?” Asked Lars.

“No, Era Two is something else entirely. Honestly, Era Two gems aren’t bad at all if that’s what you’re worried about,” rambled Rhodonite. “Some of my best friends were made during Era Two.. before they abandoned me, like everyone else.”

“Era Two began the moment Pink Diamond was shattered on Earth,” explained Fluorite at length. “The loss of Pink threw Blue Diamond and her court into profound disarray, while Yellow focused all her energy on expansion. The following chain reaction resulted in a resource crisis that affected the entire empire, even now. Era Two gems are usually smaller and less-powerful than their Era One counterparts. But it’s not an insult at all.”

“However, the Emerald definitely meant it as one,” Rhodonite pointed out quite confidently. “That’s undeniable.”

Lars closed his eyes and nodded, inadvertently bumping Padparadscha in the face. “Sorry Padparadscha. But, yeah, okay, I’m with you now. That’s what the Blue and Yellow Diamonds were upset with Steven about during the Trial.”

“Bwah?” It was the Rutile Twins. “You were at a trial for Pink Diamond’s shattering?” “-You- were in the presence of BLUE AND YELLOW DIAMOND?!”

“Owch,” said Padparadscha.

“Two giant women? Like a hundred feet tall? Yeah. That’s what me and Steven were doing before we escaped and ran into you guys.” Again, all eyes were on him. He took a breath, which he found he really needed due to the squashed atmosphere of the cockpit.

“Okay, so I guess it all starts with Steven. See, Steven’s gem used to belong to his mom, who isn’t around anymore. The Diamonds think-” He closed an eye, trying to work it out in his mind before explaining it. “No, wait, they think she is Steven.. And they think that Steven shattered her, even though they’re not the same person. Steven is just Steven. Either way, I don’t think it’s true. I know that kid, and I sort of remember seeing his mom around when I was really young, before he was born. His mom seemed nice? I don’t really remember. I guess it was really her power which brought me back to life, though. And Steven, well, he only wants help everyone. It’s like, his whole thing. There’s no way that what the Diamonds think is true,” He frowned.

“Ugh. Poor Steven. He’s up against so much.” “I would hate to be accused of shattering a Diamond,” said the Rutiles. “But, what’s a mom?”

“Oh, a mom? It’s like, your parent. But I guess if gems come out of the ground, you guys wouldn’t have parents.”

“Do you have a mom?”

“Yeah. And a dad. You uh, kinda need both before you’re.. created.”

“So.. Are you a mom or a dad?”

Lars’ face flushed a deep pink. “N-no of course not! I’m too young. I’m a kid.”

“What’s a kid?” asked Fluorite, mystified. Lars opened his mouth to try to explain, but Rhodonite jumped in.

“So it’s like fusion!” she said. “Like how Pearl and Ruby create me, and I’m the ‘kid’.”

“Ahh, sort.. of. Except my parents are still individual humans, existing separate from me back on Earth.”

“Hah, what? That’s so strange.”

“No, that’s normal where I’m from,” he explained patiently. “Most of the things on my planet work that way.”

“Oh, we have a lot to learn then,” said Fluorite.

Rhodonite agreed, nodding. “Yeah, you’ll have to explain more of it to us while we’re on our way.”

“You haven’t really told us much this far,” said a Rutile, “But we’ve all been too busy to ask much, either,” admitted the other.

Lars’ forehead furrowed. “I know. I mean, I want to tell you guys everything I know, and I am looking forward to getting home and everything - It’s all I’ve been trying to do.”

Rhodonite smiled softly. “We know, we saw.”

“But. It’s..”

“Huh?”

He shuddered. “I-it’s.. painful.”

Rhodonite gasped. “Lars?”

“..To think about.” He leaned into the window even more, somehow placing a hand upon his un-squashed cheek. “I left on such bad terms with everyone. My.. friends, they all must hate me. I really screwed up big and I never had a chance to fix it.” He sunk. “But, no. Actually, I wouldn’t have even tried to fix it if I’d never been abducted.” Here, he paused a moment. “And everything’s weird because I died and now I’m pink and stuck out here in friggin’ space and I feel stupider than ever for every single thing I was ever scared of or worried about because now I see that it was all just.. insignificant nonsense.”

Padparadscha raised her arms enough to hug them around Lars’ head. “Captain Lars is about to let out some emotions she’s been pushing down since we first decided to escape Homeworld. She’ll need our support and understanding.”

He sighed, at this point content to let all the ‘shes’ and ‘hers’ slide for now. “Thanks, Padparadscha.”

“Captain, it’s okay.” “We’re on our way now,” The Twins said encouragingly. 

“You’ll be able to fix everything soon,” offered Fluorite.

“It might be too late,” he replied, staring out into space not only because it was hard to comfortably turn his head away from the window, but also because he was brooding. “Rhodonite, you were called out for just holding hands in public. You were exiled ages ago because of it. That would never have happened in a million years back on Earth, but I always acted like it would have. I have no idea how I’ll face Sadie.. if I even see her again.”

“Sadie?” “Who is Sadie? Another human?” asked the Rutiles, while running diagnostics.

Lars blushed again. “S-she’s my.. friend.. We, uh, we work together at the Big Donut. We sell donuts. A donut is like, a wheel of sugar that you eat. They’re not actually good for you but they taste good.”

“No, no donuts, talk about this Sadie. Who is she? What’s she like?” probed Rhodonite.

“She.. She’s ..” It was too painful. All he could picture was the poor girl reaching for him from the grasp of the Topaz, asking for his help. It simultaneously felt like it was both moments and years ago. He blinked back tears. “Uhhh. Can we talk about this later? I’m sure we have more important stuff to-”

“We sure do have more pressing issues,” interjected a Rutile. “Such as, this ship won’t make it all the way to Earth.” “We will need to make another stop.”

“What?!” squealed Rhodonite, glancing over.

Lars cleared his throat and also tried his best to look at the screen the Rutiles were crowding. He couldn’t really understand it at first sight. “What am I looking at?”

“Here is the amount of power we have stored, which isn’t the problem at all,” one of the Rutiles explained calmly. “And here is a cross-section of the ship showing very obviously that a crucial component is completely missing!” said the other. “They never should have released this ship to us!” “It was clearly in the middle of repairs.”

“I guess the threat of an angry Emerald carries a fair bit of clout. It’s good to know we stole something from a high-ranking gem who is implied to be unreasonable,” said Rhodonite with obvious nervous sarcasm, while chewing on a touchstump. “What does it mean?”

“It means, we’ll only be able to make it to the next sector over,” determined a Rutile, looking anxiously at the holographic screen her face was pushed slightly too close to. The other Rutile nodded in agreement. “We’ll be fine, but we need to find another way.”

“What’s this?” asked Lars, reaching over with difficulty in the cramped space and pointing at a little speck on the screen. It popped up larger accompanied by notes that he couldn’t make sense of.

“That is Upsilon IX,” a Rutile reported. “The closest colony, smack in the center of Sector Two.” “If we plot a course straight for it..” “We’ll be okay.”

A moment of silence occurred, during which Lars felt that they all expected something from him.

“Well, do it?” suggested Lars. It was obviously the only solution, but he was still very confused by their trust in him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt this story would seem incomplete if it didn’t include a bit of an explanation about Era Two, mention Pink Diamond, or talk about why Lars and Steven were running around on the surface of Homeworld in the first place. But, I also didn’t want any of it to conflict with the events of ‘Your Mother and Mine’ later on where the Off Colors are shocked at the mention of Rose Quartz and Garnet goes into detail about what she knew about it, as well as events in other certain future episodes.
> 
> So I hope the way I tackled it here (with Lars not mentioning RQ’s name and focusing more on how he’s seen it affect his buddy Steven) makes sense in that respect.


	7. The Crash.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every Fountain of Luck has a way of running dry exactly when you don't need it to.

“I spy, with my singular visionsphere, something beginning with… hmmm, S,” said Padparadscha, still hugging Lars’ head in the cramped conditions of the shuttle.

“Space,” groaned everyone else, super bored.

“It could also be star,” the little orange gem complained quietly. “Or shuttle.”

“But it wasn’t, was it?” moaned Rhodonite. “Don’t tumble my rocks! It was ‘space’ and you know it. Like last time. And the time before that, which was exactly like the previous four hundred rounds of this horrible ‘game’.”

“Hey, it wasn’t like I had time to nip away and grab Checkers Travel out of the games cupboard before being kidnapped.” Lars glared uselessly out of the window that he was still slightly squished against. Again, he had to quietly shove down the homesickness that reared up whenever he spoke about his life.

“Nobody knows what you mean!” snapped Rhodonite, both sets of arms folded, herself glaring out the opposite window, fully ticked off.

Cramped conditions over time does horrible things to both man and gem alike, but not Fluorite. Never Fluorite. “Calm down, everyone,” she intoned, incredibly patient to a fault. “We’ve taken the wonderful ‘game’ that Lars has shared with us from Earth, and mutated it into something hostile and terrible. We should apologize.”

“Ugh, no. Trust me, this is exactly how every game of ‘I Spy’ ends. Just wait ‘til you play Monopoly. How long has it been?” Desperate to change the topic, Lars tried to look over at the Twin’s control panel.

“You won’t like to know, but we are almost there.” “See? You can nearly make out the red dwarf star it orbits,” came the Rutile’s responses.

With a renewed interest, Lars squinted out the window and it wasn’t long before he noticed the tiny red dot that he figured the Rutile Twins were referring to.

“Wow, a real red dwarf? That’s so cool. Yeah, I think I speak for all of us if I said we’d like a bigger ship this time. With more chairs, maybe a whole second room at least,” said Lars. “Do gem ships even have cabins? Do you think they’ll have anything like that for us to, ah, borrow?”

“Upsilon IX.. should have something we can use,” Rhodonite said without much conviction. “It’s one of Blue Diamond’s most ancient colonies that no longer boasts any strategic value, so not much of a military presence, which can be a good and bad thing for us. But a lot of important gems spend time there - there might be something. Honestly, though, even a Roaming Eye will be better than this.”

Lars rolled his eyes. “Ugh, great. More ‘important gems’ to get yelled at by.”

“At least we’re off Homeworld, guys,” a Rutile chimed in optimistically, and the other joined in, “That’s a step in the right direction.”

Hours later (by Lars’ rough estimation) Upsilon IX, as it came into view, seemed to resemble patches of planetary crust being held together by what looked like a number of gargantuan linear rock formations overlapping one another at irregular intervals and all kinds of angles. Completely hollow except for a very visible core which was held in place by more gigantic pillars, it looked even less like a planet than Homeworld did. Its outside surface shimmered in all manner of pastel blue and purple tones under the red star that it orbited quite closely. There was a faint visible trace of an asteroid field floating around it. Lars had definitely started to notice a theme with these gem colonies - it was darkly fascinating in a way that made him more eager to get home as swiftly as possible.

“This stop is unavoidable,” “Unless we want to be stranded floating in space until the end of time,” said the Rutiles as if reading Lars’ mind.

“Cool! Land this sardine can!” commanded Lars, the incomprehensible Earth language causing Rhodonite to laugh this time, now that an end was in sight.

“Yes Captain!” “Right away, Captain!”

The asteroid belt quickly came into better view and the Rutiles frowned. “The orbiting debris is a lot more dense than we expected.” “We’re going to have to perform evasive maneuvers.”

Worried visionspheres gazed out the window, watching the space debris become gradually bigger with their approach. Every so often, one space rock would silently hit another space rock, sending both parties in different, unpredictable directions..

Suddenly, a crash. One that produced noise. Which meant that the ship was involved. The Rutiles gasped as a warning popped up on the screen in front of them.

“W-what’s going on?” cried Lars, alarmed.

“Hold on everyone,” said a Twin. “We’re going down!”

The small shuttle was now careening in the direction of Upsilon IX. Somehow, the stripped-back planet still maintained an atmosphere of sorts, and the friction as they entered the atmosphere caused massive amounts of turbulence, which in turn caused more damage to the shuttle. Fluorite yelled out in pain, realizing that a hole had appeared in the back somewhere where the bulk of her mass was contained.

“The hull’s been breached,” cried a Rutile as the other tried her best with the controls.

“I.. know,” Fluorite groaned. “I’m plugging it with.. my side.”

“WHAT” “NO”

“I’m fine, for now.” Fluorite and her incessant calmness.

“Twins! Land this thing!” Rhodonite cried, pulling on her hair out of stress.

Sweating, the twins focused all their attention on the scene in front of them. Deep in crisis, the shuttle couldn’t pull up in time to hit the surface and instead scraped across one of the massive connecting stone threads holding the husk of a planet together, lost a wing, and entered into a tailspin. 

The Rutiles, still at the helm, fought against the ship for some kind of control. Seeing how close they were to crashing, Fluorite grabbed her friends and held them close to her protectively, but the Twins struggled to remain at the controls. From her arms, they managed to correct the ship’s trajectory enough so that instead of a full on catastrophic crash, it jolted hard but skimmed and bounced a few times, slowing down gradually from friction before sliding to a stop in a hole of its own making in the side of a stable rock formation cropping out of another of the gargantuan pillars holding the planet’s surfaces together.

Just when it looked like things were settled, to Lars’ absolute horror, Fluorite exploded into fine puff of air which quickly evaporated into nothing, and everyone remaining fell to the floor of the cockpit from where she’d up until recently held them all protectively into her.

The cockpit window swung wide open. Lars climbed his way out and proceeded to attempt to vomit on the ground next to the ship, but of course, nothing came up. Rhodonite hurried over to check up on him, and after a few moments he shakily stood up to find her standing over him on some strange angle.

“Lars? What were you doing just now?” 

“W-what happened?!” Lars asked, having trouble with his footing now that he was standing. “Where-where’s Fluorite??”

“I think she took the brunt of the ship’s damage while we were still in the atmosphere,” she frowned. “Aaaand when we were crashing.”

“She’s.. been SHATTERED?” Lars’ mind was reeling. “But, but, she was just-”

“Shattered? No, no! She poofed. Lars,” she grabbed him by the shoulders with her dominant set of hands, and spread her lower arms wide. “She’ll be fine.”

She directed him to look back down into the cockpit of the shuttle. The thing was wrecked - it actually looked as though Fluorite’s mass had been the main reason the rest of them hadn’t been sucked out into the upper atmosphere back in the early moments of the emergency. The Twins and Padparadscha were foraging around inside it, picking up gems from the floor.

“That’s four,” said a Twin. “Here’s five!”

“Oh, here’s three!” called Padparadscha, picking up a loose gem triumphantly.

“You mean six, Padparadscha.” “Six gems - Fluorite’s all here!”

The Rutiles and Padparadscha climbed out of the wreckage and showed the gems in their arms to the remaining two.

“See? Not a scratch,” confirmed Rhodonite. “But her physical form took way too much damage to simply unfuse. She protected us, we just need to give her gems time to regenerate.”

“Oh,” replied Lars with a relieved sadness, reaching out to touch the dormant gems lightly. “Thanks, Fluorite.”

“It happens.” Rhodonite seemed okay with it. “Give her here, I’ll stow them so she’s together.”

The Twins and Padparadscha carefully obliged and soon the components of Fluorite were stowed safely in Rhodonite’s pearl.

“Feels weird without her,” admitted a Twin. “But we need to find a safe place for when she reforms.”

“Yeah, uhh, we should get our bearings.” Rhodonite glanced around anxiously. “We’re still deep in hostile territory, after all.”

“Speaking of bearings,” started Lars, trying to take a step and landing it wrong, somehow. “Why are you guys standing so easily? Balancing, uhh.. I can’t.. do it.”

The Twins and Rhodonite looked at him oddly.

“I’m having a vision it’s uncomfortable for Lars because she’s organic and has soft insides, and we crashed into one of the crooked subterranean pillars instead of the surface,” explained Padparadscha.

“Yeah, this whole area feels like it’s a mountainside, but it’s - like, there’s no frame of reference.” He pointed over towards where the pillar they were standing on stopped being flat and turned up into some unnerving angle, presumably the surface, probably miles away. “Except that. Which I just find alarming more than anything.”

“Oh,” Rhodonite got it. “It must be because gravitational pull on us is exerted by the core of the planet, which is on a different angle to us here relative to the ground than it would be on the surface. You’d get a similar feeling at some points on Homeworld too I think. We’re gems, though. Our physical forms just adjust naturally to these things.”

“Huh, lucky,” said Lars, trying to practice his walking with this explanation in mind - he soon found that it helped to imagine ‘down’ as relative to the planet’s core instead of what appeared to be the ‘ground’.

“We ARE lucky,” a Rutile realised, frowning. “We could have just as easily missed, and kept flying out into space.” “Where we would have drifted. Forever.”

“Twins, you can’t blame yourselves,” replied Rhodonite.

“Yes we can! Lars tried to warn us that we didn’t know what we were doing back in the kindergarten.” “She was right about us! We should have gone to ‘space camp’,” the Twins despaired.

“Huh? But, you two saved everyone.” Lars tried to reason.

“Captain, no disrespect, but-” “Tell that to Fluorite!”

Rhodonite sighed. “Yes, Fluorite is poofed, but you can’t help that we were given a bad ship, and you can’t stop space rocks from hitting us. Why don’t you both just calm down and let me do the panicking for you.”

The Twins looked as though they were having a hard time buying their words, but Lars continued. “You did everything right. You guys are natural pilots, you proved that.”

The Twins stood awkwardly, avoiding visionsphere contact with any of their friends by glancing away into space, where something unwelcome caught their attention.

“Guys,” warned a twin, staring down the barrel of a Roaming Eye in the distance that appeared to be approaching quickly. “We didn’t go unnoticed!”

“Rhodonite, unfuse!” yelled Lars, and she did, instantly. He turned to the Rutiles. “Twins-”

A light immediately shone out over the crashed ship, the four apparent gems, the scared defective.

“-hide-” Lars faltered as he stood wide eyed, knowing it was too late, his heart performing extremely slow backflips while his mind raced. Options flickered through his terrified mind, each one more ridiculous than the last, each one ending disastrously.

Everyone stood still in shock and fear.

“I’m having a vision that we’re about to be caught!” cried Padparadscha, and then, belatedly, “Oh no - the Twins will have no time to hide!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which I begin worldbuilding a gem colony. I hope the structural/gravity stuff makes sense if anyone bothers to read that. XD


	8. Upsilon IX.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Off Colors struggle to stay together during an unavoidable stop on their way to Earth.

Five Rubies piled out of the landed Roaming Eye, armed with destabilizers. They too had no trouble adjusting to the odd gravity of the place, standing perfectly on that same weird angle relative to the ground.

“Ah! A defective!” One of them cried out in alarm. She and three others quickly ran over and pointed their sparking weapons at the Twins, who recoiled worriedly.

The remaining Ruby, seemingly in charge, glared at the remaining four strangers in turn.

“My Clarity,” she said respectfully, saluting. “And you’re the Captain?” she asked, pointing her question at Lars, who was still struggling with his posture but trying his best not to let it show.

“Yup, that’s me, the Captain.”

“What happened here? Why are you in the company of a defective?”

“They’re with us,” started Lars, but he stopped awkwardly as he noticed one of the Rutiles subtly shaking her head in a meaningful way.

“You’re transporting a prisoner?”

A reasonable explanation, beautifully packaged and delivered for free! Lars almost died, but he maintained his cool. “Yeah, that’s right.”

“Oh,” the Ruby looked surprised. “Hmm. Well, why are you not using a prison-class ship to do it?”

Lars raised his gloved hands as he threw something out there. “Resource crisis..” he began, silently wishing they’d stop addressing him.

“Hmm,” hummed the Boss Ruby again, touching a stump to her chin thoughtfully.

“Yeah,” continued Lars, feeling a bit more confident. “We were on our way to Homeworld to deliver this defective, but we took a hit from a meteor and forced to make an.. emergency landing on your fine colony.”

“Why, then,” started Boss Ruby, narrowing her eyes at Padparadscha, “didn’t your Clarity predict it?”

“Haha, obviously, that’s what -I- want to know,” laughed Lars nervously, mind racing. “But, see-”

“Captain, allow me,” Padparadscha raised a hand for silence and then addressed the Ruby. “Mistakes happen,” she interrupted simply. “Even when you can see the future. But ultimately I knew that it would all work out, that we would land safely, and that the dazzling, brilliant and generous inhabitants of Upsilon IX would arrive in a timely manner to ensure our safety and help us continue on our way towards our mission objective.”

The Off Colors gaped wide-eyed at Padparadscha as the Rubies softened, even Boss Ruby. 

“Aw, shucks, Clarity!” she smiled. “Well, we can certainly get you up to the surface. You may not want to leave so soon when you find out that there’s a big jubilee on when the daystar goes down later, though. We’ll send a Peridot down to see what can be done about your shuttle, but it’s.. uh, it’s looking pretty bad. Climb aboard!”

She waved her arm, ushering them towards the Roaming Eye. Lars hesitated, looking at the Twins who still had the strange rubies crowding her with their destabilizers. Rhodonite’s Ruby interjected.

“Uh, excuse me, this Rutile is -our- prisoner,” she said. “I’ll take over from here. Come on, Rutile! Get in there! And don’t try any funny business.”

The Twins tried to sound genuinely afraid. “Oh, no!” “Please, don’t hurt us!”

As Ruby pretended to herd the Twins into the ship, followed by the stranger rubies, Pearl, Lars and Padparadscha all took a moment to look relieved.

The Boss Ruby stuck her head back out of the door to the ship. “Climb aboard and we’ll get you to the surface in no time.”

Lars gazed at the tiny ship reluctantly. Another cramped space to be stuck in. He politely motioned for the two gems to go ahead of him. Only Padparadscha complied, while Pearl shook her head.

“You first, Captain,” whispered Pearl in a meaningful way. Oh yes, appearances. He took a breath and carefully moved towards the ship, concentrating hard on not falling.

The insides of the ship surprised Lars - much bigger on the inside than it seemed on the outside. It reminded him of a concept on a TV show that he enjoyed sometimes (with - no, still too painful).

The Off Colors stood together to one side while the rubies took their stations at the controls. 

“Are you two okay?” whispered Pearl, worried.

“Yeah, we’ll be fine.” “We’re getting somewhere because of it,” smiled the Twins.

“Sorry,” added Ruby. “I’ll make it up to you somehow.”

“So,” Lars began, quietly, glancing around. “Do we.. rush them and take this ship?”

“It should make the trip to Earth,” considered a Twin. “But..”

“They’re all armed,” observed Pearl.

“And they’ll fuse straight away if threatened,” added Ruby as she grit her teeth, familiar with how troops of Rubies worked.

Lars clenched his jaw. “Let’s play this game then.”

Moments later, the craft touched down.

“We’re here!” called the Boss Ruby. “Please exit at your leisure.”

The surface of the planet lined up with the gravitational pull of the planet’s core in a way Lars found he could really appreciate for the first time in his life. As he started to take it all in, he saw that this colony was a lot different from Homeworld. The buildings, although just as lavish and decorated, seemed much older and were a lot smaller and fewer - barring a number of tall spires here and there. The streets here lay flat across the ground and the open-air spaceport, where they were currently situated, was smaller and more ancient-looking than the one on Homeworld.

Above them shone the red dwarf star, bright enough to illuminate the surface but not bright enough to light up the atmosphere. Against the black starry sky, the daystar looked almost like a red moon to Lars.

The Off Colors found themselves checking out the other ships docked nearby as quickly as they could until their attention was taken up by the rubies again as well as another, much taller gem flanked by a couple of blue topazes who strolled over to meet them from what to Lars appeared to be a control building.

Boss Ruby saluted. “Portmaster Crazy Lace Agate! It was a ship that crashed like you thought, not a meteor. We’ve recovered those involved.”

Crazy Lace gazed over the small crew, and then her visionspheres came to rest upon the Twins. She grimaced. “What is that?”

“-That- is prisoner they are transporting to Homeworld, likely for study and experimentation, or shattering. A defective.”

The Twins shivered visibly, but this went unnoticed by Crazy Lace who was sizing up Lars and Padparadscha at this point.

“Greetings, My Clarity. And, you’re the Captain?” she asked.

“Yes,” Lars responded. 

“Captain…?”

“Pezzottaite. Yeah, hah, Era Two, you got me,” He replied confidently, smiling, since the designation had helped them in the past.

“Hmm,” a screen popped up in front of Crazy Lace and she tapped it a couple times. “There are no prison-class ships nearby right now for you to continue your journey unobstructed, but I’ve just flagged one currently in the next system. It should be here in one cycle to escort you the rest of the way to Homeworld, and the completion your assignment.”

“Great,” replied Lars, dropping the smile and struggling to understand the timeframe imposed on this new sudden crisis. “But, we’re in a hurry. There is no way we can use one of these ships here?”

“That’s correct; There is no way. Now,” here, she turned to the Boss Ruby. “Rubies, all of you, take the defective into custody.”

Boss Ruby saluted and she and her rubies pulled out their weapons as the Twins gulped in fear. 

“What?!” 

“Wait,” cried Ruby, “They, uh, she’s.. this defective is -our- prisoner-”

“Fall in line, Ruby, move your gravity connectors!” Ordered Boss Ruby, gruffly.

“What, me too?” Ruby, distressed, glanced up at Pearl who seemed awkward and flustered. “But, I- uh..”

Padparadscha’s lip quivered. It was all starting to unravel. Lars actively chose to ignore the part of his brain that was starting to panic and attempted to reign everything back in.

“Excuse me, uh, Crazy Lace, right? Is this really necess-”

“Don’t be silly, Captain. The defective will be fine in a holding cell for now,” said Crazy Lace, towering over him, herself dwarfed in turn by the two silent topazes flanking her. She waved the Rubies and the Twins off dismissively. “It will give both you and your Sapphire the freedom to indulge in the joys of our colony while you are here!” She smiled, seemingly oblivious to the disquiet in the three gems in front of her. “As luck will have it, our traditional Cosmic Jubilee occurs at the setting of the daystar this very cycle in our glorious Sacred Centre. I insist that you attend.”

Pearl and Lars nodded dumbly as she continued.

“In the meantime, I’ll have Topaz take you to your temporary officer’s accommodation. It’s close to the Sacred Centre, which is adjacent to the spires of our Important Thinkers - advisors to the radiant and magnanimous Blue Diamond herself - so you may visit those as well if you wish it.”

Pearl and Lars stared, aghast, while everything swiftly came apart in front of them.

“Why, thank you, Crazy Lace Agate, for your impeccable generosity. My first visit to Upsilon IX is starting in an.. extremely pleasing manner,” Padparadscha uttered simply, not really feeling it. “I predict that I will enjoy it very much.”

“You’re welcome, My Clarity,” beamed Crazy Lace. 

This prompted Lars to clear his throat. “Yes, me too, of course. That sounds great,” he agreed.

After a walk from the spaceport guided by a silent and intimidating Topaz, the three remaining Off Colors soon found themselves alone in a beautiful but bare, brightly lit single room with an extremely high ceiling and only a small series of elegant curtains separating their privacy from the outside world.

The three stood apart, in silence for a few minutes, each awash in private oceans of despair and frustration.

“Shit!” said Lars suddenly, balling his fists. “We’re trying to get the heck away from Homeworld and somehow we manage to sign our asses up for an escort all the way back there, on a prison ship, in one ‘cycle’! What is that even, like, a day?!”

“And we’re separated,” Pearl added helplessly, hugging herself where Ruby’s arms would have been. “And Fluorite’s out.. And eventually someone’s going to report the shuttle stolen..”

“How did this happen?!” despaired Lars in a rhetorical manner.

“This isn’t a very ideal vision, my friends,” Padparadscha agreed.

“I’m only eighteen,” Lars stammered, fists still clenched. “I should be finishing school this year. If I’d tried harder, I would’ve been looking at college. I could’ve.. done.. anything,” he realized, staring blankly at the far wall, the corner of one eye twitching.

Pearl could see Lars taking a turn, so she quashed her own miserable feelings for a moment. “Oh, don’t get your rocks all a-tumble, Lars. I don’t know about that other stuff, but eighteen thousand is an impressive age,” said Pearl, grateful for the distraction. “That’s older than I am.”

Lars turned to face her and the look on his face told her that she had misunderstood.

“Eighteen.. hundred?”

Lars looked at her, shrugging awkwardly, and she suddenly understood.

“Oh, wow,” said Pearl, astounded, frowning. “That’s.. very new.”

Padparadscha fell from standing flat onto her back abruptly, causing Pearl and Lars to gape at her.

“P-Padparadscha?” asked Lars, foolishly assuming the gem had just had a stroke for a frantic moment. Then, she sighed unhappily.

“I predict that you’ll be concerned about me - don’t be. I wanted to try that sleeping thing you mentioned when we were back in the kindergarten, but all this ‘relaxing while unaware of one’s surroundings’ seems absolutely ridiculous to me right now in light of our many, many problems.”

“My sweet Ruby,” mourned Pearl. “We’ll need to find her, and the Twins. I’m so glad we got all of Fluorite when we did. At least she’s together.”

Suddenly, Lars was all business. “Obviously we’re not leaving without Ruby or the Twins, but let’s also talk ships,” He said. “Do we have options there?”

“Fluorite and the Twins would know more about it than me and Padparadscha, but I.. think so?” Pearl stood with a hand on her hip and brought her other hand to her face in thought. “I saw what I -want- to say is a medium-size transport ship that -may- have a gravity engine, something like that would surely get us to Earth in no time, but I’m.. I can’t be sure.”

“This Cosmic Jubilee sounds fascinating,” began Padparadscha from her position, still on the floor.

“Huh? You don’t actually want to go, do you?” asked Pearl, incredulously looking down at her. “I mean, we could go, but it’d be a lot of time to waste away reveling in decadence.”

“I may not know the future from a mote of dust, but if we are careful, we may be able to use the celebration as a cover.”

Instantly the possibilities opened up wide. Lars slapped a hand to his face at the revelation. “Doy! What if more gems show up for it? There might be more ships to choose from shortly!”

“Ruby will be in attendance as part of the guard,” gasped Pearl, smiling. “We’ll find her and sneak away under cover of darkness!” 

“She’ll know where the Twins are, right?” added Lars, narrowing his eyes. “Let’s scope out this place. We.. we need to be more familiar with where everything is before it gets dark and this thing begins.”

He offered Padparadscha his hand in order to help her climb to her feet, and she accepted cheerfully. “Pearl! Captain! Don’t worry - I predict we’ll feel much better once we’ve formed a way of moving forward.”

Pearl smiled “Let’s do this. Let’s just try not to be seen by too many other gems.”

After peering beyond the curtains briefly, Lars gave the all-clear. Soon, the three of them were walking casually, following Pearl’s directions as she translated some of the signage for Lars’ benefit.

“Over this way is the Sacred Centre, and the Spires. It should be a short walk.”

Lars nodded and walked along. “What are the chances everything we need will be close by again?” 

“Not good. Upsilon IX is very different from Homeworld. Lower population, less surface. This colony’s Communication Hubs, Galaxy Warp, and whatever facility they took the Twins to probably all lie on different facets like every other colony.”

“Facets?”

“Different parts of the planet, interconnected by a series of warp pads. It just so happens that this facet is dedicated to the Spires and providing entertainment and accommodation for visiting imperial dignitaries.”

“It’s weird to me how you call this a planet. It’s more of a broken shell.”

Pearl laughed with a touch of anxiety at his ridiculous statement, leaning towards Lars with a touchstump against her lips. “Ssssh- don’t let anyone hear you say that.”

He lowered his voice accordingly, but continued. “And what’s going on with the core? It’s contained somehow but its mass must be dense enough for gravity to work okay. It’s still like, a normal molten core inside? Are they siphoning energy from it?”

“Uh, yes,” Pearl was suddenly surprised. “The core powers most of this colony’s structures. The excess is stored and shipped off to Homeworld or wherever else it’s needed.” She continued walking a few more steps, then looked back across at Lars. “Wait, if the Earth is still a completely intact globe like you say, how did you know that?”

Lars snorted, amused. “Gems aside, humans have been imagining how they’re eventually going to kill the Earth for decades now. They make stories up about things like this all the time, and I like to watch the movie version.” He smiled. “See, you’re about to meet the Earth during a golden age.. of sorts.”

Pearl waved her arms around, cutting him off. “Lars, wait, no. What are you saying? This planet isn’t dead. It’s very much alive.”

Padparadscha made a noise in agreement.

“Well, the gems here are alive, sure. But nothing else is.”

“Huh?” Padparadscha looked up at Lars, confused.

Lars raised an eyebrow. “Heh, c’mon, are you serious? How are you guys not getting this?” 

The two gems exchanged glances before looking back at him in an inquiring manner. He frowned, unsure how to explain.

“Well.. Take away all the gems and there would be nothing here. Maybe it had its own life once, organic or gem-based or.. or whatever else, I don’t know, but that’s all been stripped away a long time ago. Right? All I see here now is dead stone. No soil, no oceans, no.. erosion, no weather? Nothing new would be able to grow. And as far as gems go, throwing down another kindergarten would likely break the remains of this place apart. It’d just be a fragile, unchanging husk orbiting that red dwarf star up there until either something knocks it out of orbit sending it flying off into space, or the heat death of the universe.”

There fell a silence as the two gems considered his words. He shrugged after a moment.

“I mean, that’s just my hot take, and I’m just an organic guy from some backwater world that’s still a globe. I’m probably wrong.”

“No,” replied Pearl, quietly. “You might be right. It’s made me think. I’ve just.. never questioned that before. Never had a reason to. Oh, I wonder what Ruby will say when she hears this.”

“It’s amazing to hear such things said by a new being who came out knowing nothing,” admitted Padparadscha. “Are you a very smart one? Or are all humans so new and smart?”

Lars blushed deeply. “Ohh no, I’m not smart. I’d still be home if I was.” He scratched his neck. “But I like science fiction and it just seems obvious to me.”

Pearl glanced side-eyed at him. “You seem so similar to us in a lot of ways, and then you say something very strange. You really are an alien, aren’t you?” 

Lars simply shrugged. “If.. When we get to Earth, you’ll see.”

They stopped walking, having arrived at the Sacred Center, and gazed ahead at the cold, dead, glorious and intricate structures that had been long ago chiseled out of what was once a planet.

The Sacred Center appeared to Lars to resemble a massive, open-air stadium. It was flanked on the opposite side by three tall spires, reaching up impossibly high.

“Well, there are the Thinker’s Spires, as well,” Pearl gestured. Lars squinted, spotting a warp pad adjacent to the Centre, and pointed.

“Hey, there’s a warp thing. Or is it a Galaxy Warp? I don’t know the difference.”

“That’s just a warp pad. Like I said before, they allow travel to other parts of the same colony,” said Pearl. “Every colony also has a Galaxy Warp which is connected to others like it on different colonies. And they’re bigger and far more resplendant. ”

“Cool.” 

“Maybe we’ll go on one someday.. If, stars forbid, one of our future plans fails catastrophically and we need a way to escape,” Pearl laughed nervously for a moment, and then clasped her hands together, calm again. “But.. in the meantime, well, shall we go down there and look at the architecture?”

“Sure, looks like we have lots of time to kill,” shrugged Lars, and Padparadscha agreed.

“I have nowhere else to be, might as well.”

They continued walking down, around the spires and the many statues dotting the complex, and pretended to admire and bask in the surrounding opulence for the remainder of what Lars would have otherwise considered a perfectly normal afternoon, if not for the fact that everything that had happened, had happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter so far - four left! :D


	9. The Cosmic Jubilee.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Off Colors do their damnedest in a cascade of horrible situations.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you are only reading this to get caught up before beginning my other fic 'How to Roll (with a Divergent Reality)', this is just a note to say that this is the chapter the AU splits off from. 
> 
> Feel free to read the rest of this fic anyway, though! :)

As on Homeworld, structures and pathways lit up with an eerie glow during the fast-encroaching darkness as the red dwarf star dipped under the horizon.

Important-looking gems began warping in from regions unknown and activity at the spaceport really picked up as gems arrived and made beelines for the Center. A small few were accompanied (or rather, followed) by their own Pearls. The three Off Colors pretended to be part of it all. Lars expected ushers, or at least something, but he had to resign himself to following cues once again.

“Did you ever accompany your Morganite to anything like this jubilee thing?” asked Lars.

“No,” came Pearl’s reply. “She was always much too busy.”

The gems around them appeared to be taking seats exactly where Lars would expect to sit in any normal Earth stadium. He waited politely until Padparadscha sat.

“Why, thank you, Captain,” she said as she took her seat.

“You’re welcome, My Clarity.”

She covered her mouth delicately and started giggling, and Lars couldn’t help but chuckle too - the ridiculousness of all this! They reigned it in quickly though as seats began to fill up around them with strange gems.

“I don’t even know what to expect,” whispered Lars, watching other gems file in. “What is this going to even be? A party? Or a concert? How dangerous are gem mosh pits?”

“I don’t know what those things are,” replied Pearl, a little distracted from looking around for any sign of Ruby. “So, I spy with my little visionsphere, something beginning with no.”

He looked down at Padparadscha, who was simply seated contentedly between him and Pearl with hands clasped together on her lap, and he decided to just sit quietly and wait for whatever it was to begin while also scanning the crowd. After a long wait, and many, many new arrivals later, the crowd went silent and settled when he would have normally expected buzzing excitement. The whole affair struck Lars as alien and weird, and that was even before the eerie music started.

“To all imperial dignitaries and officers in attendance of the Cosmic Jubilee - Welcome!” came a gem’s amplified voice from - where? Lars had no idea.

Two Jaspers appeared, walking out onto the staging area. Lars, a little bored up until this point, watched with mild interest as they approached each other from different angles and then when they met, they clasped hands and fused together.

The result was a much bigger and more powerful-looking Jasper who pulled forth a massive, awesome sword from one gem, and a spear from her other. Smashing them together, she somehow created something that looked like a wicked evil scythe. Lars’ interest was piqued, to say the least.

“Woah!”

He received an odd look from a nearby Pearl accompanying an Agate, which Rhodonite’s Pearl noticed, and gently nudged him about. “Lars!”

“Okay, sorry,” he said quietly.

Movement caught his eye from the other end of the staging area. Two amethysts, who strutted around a little first before grabbing each other and fusing into another much bigger version of themselves. From the backs of her hands, where their gems were, they formed massive spikes which appeared to be her weapon. He stared wide-eyed as the two combatants approached each other cautiously before coming to a halt. The two stood, staring at each other for some time before suddenly breaking into an epic battle, one that Lars really found himself getting into.

The battle lasted a good long while until the Jasper fusion broke apart in a poof of smoke. The fighting stopped, and the Amethyst fusion showboated a little before unfusing and all four singular gems left the staging area on amiable terms.

“Hey,” whispered Lars. “Why isn’t anybody cheering? That was awesome! Could use some slick commentary from Mr Smiley, though.” He felt the familiar pang of homesickness as he said it, like a well-timed and painful reality check.

“That’s a fascinating point of view and normally I’d have follow up questions, but I’m a little worried.” Pearl replied, looking uncomfortable. “I’m not seeing Ruby or the guard anywhere.”

“Agh, sorry, Pearl. I’ll be useful now,” he promised, and resumed helping her scan the crowd.

“Crazy Lace Agate is in attendance,” said Padparadscha.

Lars and Pearl looked up and spotted her almost instantly on the other side of the center, seated, also watching the fight. Pearl blinked and went back to her task of seeking out Ruby, but Lars lingered long enough to make brief eye contact with the agate before looking away.

Suddenly, a group of rubies entered the staging area. Lars squinted hard at the tiny gems in the distance, trying to make them out individually.

“Ruby!” Pearl gasped quietly.

The Ruby in question had been gazing up around at the crowd, attempting desperately to see her friends. In an instant, they spotted each other and were transfixed.

However, Ruby was shortly distracted by the task of fusing with her peers. Pearl gasped and Padparadscha’s jaw dropped.

Lars boggled at what the implications could be. He struggled to keep his voice a whisper. “Uh, guys? What - Do all those Rubies know everything about us now?!”

Padparadscha shook her head. “Ruby knows better than to do that.”

Pearl was too upset to respond, and Padparadscha reached out and placed a hand subtly on her back.

“Pearl,” she said simply. “Just take a moment. We need you.”

Pearl acknowledged the offering and nodded, taking a calming breath. She couldn’t help but watch the following battle with a deeply-held personal interest.

The Ruby fusion ended up facing down a singular Topaz - judging by gem placement, Lars figured it was one of the two spaceport topazes. Which meant there was only one unaccounted for, and that made the odds of escaping this evening seem a little more likely.

But in the heat of the moment it was apparent that the Ruby fusion was becoming more and more distracted as the battle wore on. It didn’t last nearly as long as the first one, however - the Rubies came apart quite easily after failing to dodge a strike from the Topaz’s hammer.

This fight didn’t end on the most friendly of terms. The rubies walked from the stage, arguing amongst themselves. Rhodonite’s Ruby fired a few cryptic hand signals at Pearl before disappearing from the stage.

“Was that a code? What did she say?” asked Lars.

“I.. have no idea,” sniffed Pearl, whispering. “We need to find her.”

“Right,” said Lars, standing.

They pushed their way through the grandstand as politely as possible, absolutely not wanting to create an incident with so much at stake. They exited the grandstand area and found themselves running around a narrow labyrinth underneath the seating area. Lars was entirely lost, but Pearl lead the way with a vague map in her head as an idea of the direction her poor Ruby might be in.

“PEARL” the call cut through the air like a knife. Pearl turned to look down a passage they would have otherwise run straight past, and there she was.

“RUBY” They ran towards each other faster than Lars had ever seen anybody run before, and when they met, they clutched tightly at each other.

“My Pearl! I snuck away from the other rubies while they were arguing. You-you understood my signs!” Ruby said through tears.

“Oh Ruby! I really didn’t! I can’t believe they made you fuse and fight that Topaz!”

Padparadscha watched their tearful reunion smiling happily and so did Lars with wide, watery eyes.

“I never actually wanted to, but I had to! It was only so I wouldn’t blow my cover, until I found you again. I’m so sorry! You’re the only gem in the entire universe that I’ll ever want to fuse with!”

Pearl had ugly tears streaming down her face, but she was smiling. “Ruby, it’s okay. I understand. I love you.”

“I love you too! And we.. we’re together again..”

As Ruby took Pearl’s cheek in her hand, their forms lost definition and began to glow bright white. However, the fusion shorted as Ruby suddenly shook her head and pulled away - and their two forms promptly became solid again.

“No! Not yet! We.. We should-” Ruby was suddenly very serious and let go of Pearl, glancing at the others as if noticing them for the first time. “Everyone! Hi! Quickly - we need to go get the Twins. They looked so scared, they need our help!”

Lars and Padparadscha nodded while Pearl sniffed back tears. “Are they okay?” she asked. “Do you know where they are?”

“Of course I do. But before we do that - please! Please tell me you have a plan to get out of here before the prison ship comes! I couldn’t think of one on my own!”

The three others look at each other quietly before Pearl responded, “Kind of!”

“Good enough!” Ruby balled a fist and raised it into the air in a very serious manner. “Let’s go!”

Soon, Ruby led the way, running, through the softly glowing night. Thankfully, the area outside the Center was devoid of gems. Lars found it necessary at one point to double back and pick up Padparadscha, and he took up the rear carrying her in as respectful a manner as he could. The ease with which he now found he could run at a steady pace to keep up with aliens while carrying what probably would be the equivalent of an eight year old child deeply interested him in a disconcerting way, but as usual, he had to push that down for later and focus on the task at hand.

Ruby jumped onto the local warp pad and slid to a stop. “Everyone, hurry!”

Once everyone was standing on the pad, Ruby activated it, and they disappeared into a stream of pure light.

This being only the third time Lars had ever traveled via warp stream, he was startled to be suddenly floating in place, swathed by fast-moving beams of light and a mildly distracting updraught. Or were they moving downwards very fast? He let go of Padparadscha, only to have her float in place in front of him anyway. The others were looking pretty nonchalant about the whole affair, so he tried to as well.

After a few moments, they were ejected from the stream and found themselves on a similar pad, albeit on a much different part of the colony where the red dwarf star still hung high in the otherwise black sky.

Ahead of them was an elegant path leading uphill to what looked like a giant fortress.

“The Twins are in there,” said Ruby. “C’mon! Hopefully everyone’s at the celebration!”

She led them, still running, up the path towards the heavily armored door. She rapped at the access panel - it took a couple of tries, but the door eventually slid open and the Off Colors piled in. However, they were greeted by a very irate blue agate with a destabilizer at her hip who noticed them immediately and stomped over.

The Off Colors recoiled, not having expecting this.

“What’s going on!?” she asked, clearly not in the mood. “What are you doing here?”

None of them had a remote chance of overpowering the agate - they all knew it. And their reticence made her extremely suspicious of them all, no matter how important and rare at least two of them looked. She drew her weapon.

“Nothing to say? I’ll just destabilize you all, one by one, until I have my answers.”

Lars considered the destabilizer and exhaled, rekindling an old bet with himself. “Guys, stay back.”

“Lars-” Pearl started to argue, but he ignored her.

The Agate narrowed her eyes at him, her weapon sparking. “You want to take me on.. ‘Lars’, was it? What in the name of the stars is a Lars?”

Lars knew she was trying to goad him - that’s exactly how he’d try to get the upper hand, too. So he stayed quiet, watching her warily.

“Well. Maybe a few hundred years bubbled will make you more willing to talk-”

The Agate rushed him, leading with the destabilizer. He jumped back just in time and, in a frantic effort to not let its twin points rip his torso open, he found himself able to grab each of the prongs with his hands and held onto them as tight as he could. He felt only a familiar soft crackle where the current met his skin through his gloves, but beyond that, he was okay. He exhaled hard, relieved, but despite his apparent increased stamina he could tell that he wouldn’t come close to matching the Agate in strength. He braced himself, gulping hard, expecting a thrust or a swipe, or at least an attempt to shake him off.

However, the agate let go of the weapon in incredible surprise and recoiled in horror, clearly having trouble understanding what she was seeing. A gem, immune to destabilization? This gem’s form hadn’t even -tried- to break apart!

Lars flicked the thing around and caught it by its handle in midair. He briefly looked surprised and happy that he’d managed to achieve such a maneuver without messing up and accidentally flicking it uselessly across the ground, and then pointed it at her.

“Hey, look. We don’t want to fight.. but we will if we have to. We’re just here for our friends,” his voice cracked nervously, but he became more bold as he finished his statement as he found himself joined on both sides by Ruby, Pearl and Padparadscha, all with their fists raised grimly.

“What- what are you-” she gasped. “You’re all defectives! And.. pirates! I thought the report from the crash made no sense when I heard it!” She flexed her touchstumps, and charged at Lars in particular with a raging fury that defied reason. “You won’t get away-”

Lars’ eyes went wide as the Agate took over his vision - just before poofing instantly upon contact with the destabilizer. Her gem clattered on the ground before coming to a rest on its side. Ruby jumped on it.

“I got it, I got it!” she called as she bubbled the inactive gem.

Lars looked on in distaste, remembering the time his entire head had been bubbled during the Trial. “She’s.. okay in there?”

Ruby stood, and waved the bubbled gem up into the air where it traveled a couple of yards upwards and then delicately hung still in midair. “Yeah, I’m sure someone will find her and let her out later. Until then, she won’t be in our way.”

“Don’t worry Lars, I predict you’ll do amazing!” said Padparadscha.

“Aw, thanks Padparadscha, but all I did was ‘be made of meat’. You guys are actually the amazing ones, wanting to fight that huge angry lady.”

“Oh, no, we did nothing until you got the destabilizer,” said Pearl.

“You really kept it together and showed her who to mess with!” Ruby clapped him on the back.

“A-a series of flukes, guys, but.. thanks.” Lars stammered, wondering what kind of nightmares he’d be in for if he ever did fall asleep again.

But there was no time to dwell - Ruby was already leading them off and down into the depths of the ancient gem complex.

“Rutiles,” called Ruby. “Twins? It’s just us, don’t be scared!”

And there they were, deep underground in a small holding cell barely tall enough for Lars to stand up in, much less the taller Twins. They were crouched against the wall on the other side of the barrier. They didn’t look good. Lars passed the destabilizer he had claimed to Pearl and quickly crossed the barrier, holding out a hand out to them.

“Guys, it’s so good to see you! C’mon, let’s get out of here.”

One of the Twins looked up briefly, and then went back to huddling with her twin. “No.” “Just.. leave us here.”

Lars stared. “..What?”

“We’re defective.” “We deserve to be shattered.”

“My dudes, we’re all ‘defective’. Let’s go!” He reached down and grabbed one of their arms, tugging on it gently. “Please, come on.”

“Everyone else is defective in ways that can be hidden whenever they want.” “We are just.. like this. All the time.” “There’s nothing out there for us, no matter where we go.”

Lars struggled for words. “You.. you’ve been locked up here by yourselves for hours, and maybe you still feel bad about the crash, which still isn’t your fault, by the way.. Let’s go outside, we’ll all get some air-”

“Just stop, Lars.” “Inhaling and exhaling in a different location won’t help. We are thinking clearly.” “We’re never going to get out of this. Even if the Earth is still intact,” “Even though Pink Diamond failed, it doesn’t matter.” “It’s obvious that the Diamonds are thinking about Earth again.” “Even if it’s safe for a while, it won’t be for very long.” “It’s kinder to be destroyed now, before we actually have anything worth losing.”

A silence fell on the group. The gems standing on the outside of the barrier gazed in quietly, concern in their eyes.

Lars sat down next to the Twins, back up against the same wall as them. After a minute, a Twin glanced up at him, and over at the remaining gems.

“..What are you doing?” “We told you to go.”

“Oh, Twins,” said Padparadscha sadly, “Don’t you remember? We’re Off Colors.”

Minutes passed in silence between them. And suddenly, the Twins kicked a leg out, sheepishly. They sighed.

“Fine, if it’s really that important to you all,” “Let’s go.”

Lars smiled, and stood in the barrier on his tiptoes to create a breach big enough for them to awkwardly duck through. Once they were on the outside, they received huge hugs from all their friends and wiped away tears.

“We’re sorry.” “We were in there a long time.” “Where’s Fluorite?” “Not back yet?”

Pearl perked up suddenly. “Oh! Still safe. I’ll bring her out. Surely she’s regenerated by now.”

The six components of Fluorite touched down on the ground in a beam of light right in front of them. They all gazed around, trying to get their bearings.

“Oh good,” said Pearl. “You’re not fused just yet.”

“The last thing we remember was the shuttle crashing, so we weren’t sure what the situation was,” replied one of them, “but you.. you’re all here!”

“Yeah, Fluorite saved us from taking damage during the crash!” Ruby was pumped to see the rest of her friends again.

“So, we must be safe!” said another component of Fluorite, happily.

“But, where are we?” asked a third, looking around the passage they were all standing in.

“Wow,” said another of them, spotting the destabilizer in Pearl’s hands. “That’s fancy. Pearl, where did you get that?!”

Ruby jumped in. “It’s a long story! Basically, we’ve spent all cycle separated from each other - it was horrible!”

“We’ve just busted the Twins out of prison,” explained Lars. “We need all you guys to help cover them again in case we get spotted.”

“We need to get off this colony as soon as possible,” Padparadscha continued.

“And finally - we need you and the Twins to pick out a suitable ship when we get to the spaceport,” said Pearl, raising her hands in a shrug and smiling self-depreciatingly, “Because we have no idea what we’re going for.”

“It’s a short story, granted, but it sounds solid.” The main Fluorite component balled her fists and turned back to look at her crowd of lovers. “We can do this!”

The other five components of Fluorite voiced their agreement and confidence and everyone moved out.

*~*~*~*~*

Soon, the Off Colors touched down on the warp pad outside the Sacred Center. The sounds of battle emanated from the massive building.

“Wow, they’re still going,” said Lars.

“Whatever, let’s just go,” urged Ruby.

They left the warp pad and moved off into the night. They only managed to get roughly one hundred yards from the warp pad before they were stopped abruptly.

“Hold it,” cut a familiar voice, and Crazy Lace Agate stepped out from behind a statue.

The Off Colors all instantly stiffened, on high alert.

“I knew your story didn’t add up. And then I watched you leave the Jubilee.. saw you enter the warp pad.” Suddenly, she was flanked by her two topazes, as well as the two jaspers from the first battle of the evening.

The prognosis for the rest of the evening was bad. It was a long shot, but Lars opened his mouth anyway. “Look, we.. we just wanna get out of here. We can explain-”

“Yes. We can most definitely explain all of this in a reasonable and reassuring manner,” Padparadscha smiled, looking up at Pearl for support, but all Pearl could do was shrug back at her, eyes wide, sweating bullets.

“..Oh.” Padparadscha was crestfallen.

Crazy Lace Agate looked very unimpressed.

“And you’ve busted your defective ‘friend’ out of her cell. Oh, let me guess,” she continued, glancing at the destabilizer still in Pearl's hands, “It took all of you together to overpower Blue Lace Agate? Care to try your tactics against the five of us? Even those odds out slightly?”

One of the Jaspers laughed confidently. “Heh, yeah, us five against these twelve puny off colors seems like good odds to me, Crazy Lace.”

“The prison agate is safe-” Lars sunk as he was cut off again.

“We haven’t had the pleasure of dealing to piratical rebels in.. millenia!” said the other Jasper with a cruel smile. “I was almost getting bored.”

Fluorite reformed out of fear. So did Rhodonite.

Crazy Lace laughed. “Hah! Even your illegal fusions are weak and terrified, you defective little Era Two Pezzottaite.” She smiled. “Pathetic. If I were you, I’d be embarrassed. This is going to be very easy.”

Lars’ mind had been racing, attempting to use his knowledge of the surroundings to fill the gaping hole where a contingency plan should’ve been, and he spun around to shout an order. “Galaxy Warp. RUN.”

Instantly, the Off Colors bolted away from the five impossibly big battle-gems who all took an extra moment to weapon-up before setting off after them. They quickly began gaining ground.

The Off Colors scrambled back onto the warp pad and all at once they noticed one of them was missing.

“Padparadscha!” they all cried out. The tiny gem was still on her way over, clearly struggling despite having hitched up her dress; She was traveling much too slowly to beat the fighters who were quickly gaining on her.

Lars grabbed the destabilizer from Rhodonite and jumped from the warp pad before the fusion could react. When she did, her jaw dropped. “Lars!?”

He sprinted over and picked Padparadscha up protectively before realizing that the approaching gems were now too close to escape from. Even if he could destabilize one, the other four would stomp him and the little gem in his arms into the ground a mere instant later. Time slowed down, and he could almost feel their breath on him. The forerunner - one of the jaspers - was so close that he could clearly distinguish her pupils from her irises.

Operating purely on a reactive level, his eyes lit up bright white. He pointed the weapon, clutching onto his little friend tightly and, after taking a deep breath and steeling himself, he screamed.

There was nothing else to do.

They had failed. HE had failed. Under normal circumstances, it was something he was accustomed to. But this time, everyone around him was going to be punished brutally for it, and so would he. He knew this without a doubt.

He let it out - the anger, the homesickness, the fear, the unfairness of the lives his new friends had been forced to live, the memory of the friends he had left behind or abandoned through mundane cowardice, the parents he constantly disappointed, the girl he couldn’t admit that he loved, the perpetual denial of his own self - and his own inability to fix any of it while struggling out here in space - everything - all the thoughts and feelings he’d been forced to constantly push down and push away came out in an instant.

And it was glorious.

The combatant gems who had until just that moment been bearing down on him instead suddenly flew back, becoming airborne briefly, as if battered by a short series of powerful concussive shockwaves. He grit his teeth, as he watched them hit the ground some yards back from where they’d just been. He was sweating, brow furrowed deeply, ears ringing, not at all understanding the odd scene that lay before him now - all the huge gems that had been just about to stampede him and Padparadscha into the ground were suddenly and inexplicably downed.

The rest of the Off Colors, who had at some point there left the warp pad to try to help, just stared in shock and disbelief.

The sounds of battle in the nearby Sacred Center stopped dead, and he couldn’t help but notice dusty skids in the ground below him where he’d slid back half a yard or so due to the strength of the blasts.

He glanced back up. The frontrunner Jasper was already sitting up, gathering her wits about her, starting to focus her attention on him again.

Padparadscha screamed in delayed shock, and he snapped back to the reality of the dangerous situation they were in, scrambled to add the destabilizer he didn’t remember dropping back to the contents of his arms, and made sure he was still holding the small gem before taking a couple of steps backwards and then turning and running to join the rest of their friends.

Every single member of the Off Colors shortly disappeared into the warp stream in a flash of light before the temporarily disabled onslaught of gems even had a chance to properly regroup.

 

* * *

 

Emerald was livid.

“MY PERSONAL SHUTTLE IS CRASHED ON UPSILON IX?? IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE WAITING FOR ME IN THE DOCKING BAY HERE ON HOMEWORLD.”

“I-I know!” cried her scared inferior. “I-I’m only the messenger!”

“I KNOW THAT.”

The inferior gem smiled shakily while Emerald glared directly into her soul, assuming gems are given to believe in such things.

“Interrupt my closest vessel to the planet,” came her order. “Tell its Nephrite that she and her crew are to postpone whatever they’re doing and go directly to Upsilon IX to investigate. Tell them to find the rogue gems responsible, and hold them. Tell her to bother me ONLY when this is done. Understand?”

Nodding, the inferior gem took a step backwards. Emerald’s temper could be explosive at times.

“WHERE ARE YOU GOING?”

“T-to do the thing you said, Emerald-”

“Not yet. There’s another thing. Go to the spaceport afterwards. Commandeer another of my fleet’s vessels on my behalf. Tell them to cancel all orders and wait for me. I believe one of my destroyers is currently docked there. I want that one.”

Her inferior nodded, and waited for further instructions.

“What are you waiting for? Go see that it’s done. I have an audience with Yellow Diamond scheduled, I can’t be held up by these minor inconveniences.”

The other gem saluted, turned and walked off quickly as Emerald also turned and walked in the opposite direction.

It had been another beautiful, weather-less day on Homeworld up until that distraction, but she couldn’t let it ruin the rest of her important day and she had confidence that her trusted subordinate gem would be able to get this whole situation sorted out by the time she was finished.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest yet and probably my favorite chapter to write.
> 
> I had Lars’ concussive scream thing on a list of stuff I wouldn’t be dragging into this fic as an official SU podcast implied that he didn’t yet know about his voice-related powers and I originally didn’t want to conflict with things that hadn’t happened yet in canon as far as ‘Change Your Mind’, the last episode aired at the time of writing this.
> 
> But as I began planning this chapter, I realized - I HAAAAD TO. Argh. I love this stuff.
> 
> So, one concussive scream for this fic in a moment of pure f-cking hopelessness. I like this story better with it. I’m so sorry.
> 
> Also RE the Jubilee itself - I considered a more formal event like a ball or a gathering or whatever, but decided it was too hard to write. And I think I've written normal gems being jerks to the Off Colors a lot already. Instead, I had the idea of same-gem fusion fighting displays simply to make it a bit more fun to write and to show Lars what Homeworld thinks fusion is for, in order to contrast that against what fusion instead means to his friends.


	10. The Warp.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Off Colors take a short vacation in the middle of their busy lives.

The Off Colors, having warped into Upsilon IX’s otherwise empty Galaxy Warp, quickly and silently crossed the floor and jumped onto the biggest, most elaborate warp pad available. After one failed start, they wasted no more time in warping off-planet.

Bathed in a narrow stream of light and wind once again, Lars was starting to get used to the odd sensation and closed his eyes, exhaling. Padparadscha sat impassively, still in his arms.

Rhodonite relieved his load by taking the destabilizer. She held it in her lower set of hands, as attempting to stow it could conceivably cause her to destabilize and poof her components. 

“First I tried for Earth, because why not? Which.. didn’t work, surprise!” Rhodonite reported to the room after a couple of minutes of silence. “So I’m taking us a few systems over instead. If that turns out too dangerous, we’ll just.. initiate another stream and try somewhere else.” She fell silent for a moment, and then added; “To be clear - when we land, do NOT leave the warp pad unless we all agree it’s safe.”

Everyone else nodded in agreement.

She glanced over at Lars, and then at the Twins. “..Is, is Lars sleeping? Is this what ‘sleep’ is?”

The Twins both frowned. “It looks kind of boring,” “It looks.. really boring.”

Fluorite smiled. “She looks peaceful. We should be careful not to disturb her.”

“Not asleep - just resting my eyes.”

“She must mean her visionspheres,” said Padparadscha.

“Uh, by the way.. how do I say this - I’m a he. Him.. his,” said Lars, finally able to seize his moment in this little sliver of downtime they had all earned.

“What?” asked Fluorite, genuinely surprised. “Are you.. uh, like Steven?”

“Well, yeah,” he opened his eyes a little. “It’s a human thing, I guess. I’m a man. Men are hes, usually. Steven.. well, he’s still a little boy, I think he’s eight or nine or something.” He shrugged. “But boys are just, younger men.” Suddenly he blinked, frowning, a little insecure. “Wait. How did you know Steven was a he and not me?”

“You always referred to Steven as he,” Rhodonite pointed out. “But never yourself.”

A fair reasoning, since he’d never been the type to talk about himself in the third person, and he nodded. “Oh. Right.”

“Oh no, I’ve just had a premonition - we’ll soon learn we’ve been making the Captain feel uncomfortable sometimes! I don’t completely understand what it means yet, but we should try to respect his wishes.”

“Thanks Padparadscha,” Lars smiled down at her.

“You’re welcome, Captain.”

The Twins were confused. “So wait, are all humans-”

“No no,” said Rhodonite, with all the enthusiasm of a know-it-all schoolkid. “The Sadie he mentioned is a she, like us. There must be both hes and shes.. Which seems confusing.”

“Well, yeah, basically.” He braced himself against the pang of homesickness he knew his following thought would bring him. “Sadie - she’s a woman, like you guys are women.”

“Women?” asked Padparadscha.

“But we’re not ‘women’, Lars,” said Rhodonite simply. “We’re gems.”

“Oh.. I.. huh,” he frowned. “You’re.. absolutely right. I never thought of that.”

“No harm done, Captain.” “We didn’t know either,” said the Twins.

Lars shrugged. “Well, we were busy trying to survive and with everything going on, it seemed stupid to make a big deal out of it.”

“This is good,” said Fluorite. “We understand each other better.”

“While we’re on the subject.. how are you guys?” asked Lars. “I mean, given everything that’s happened..” His voice lowered as he decided how to put his question. “How are you all getting through this?”

“Well, it’s been.. rough,” said Rhodonite with a sigh. “I’m trying to focus on not getting cracked, keeping everyone together, and putting one gravity connector in front of the other, like always. But.. we can’t lose each other again. Not again,” she frowned as she looked up at Fluorite, and placed a hand on a Twin’s shoulder.

“I keep thinking about what you’ve told us about Earth, and how wonderful it all sounds,” said Fluorite. “I can’t wait to see it.”

“Things got.. pretty dark in the holding cell,” said a Rutile. “Especially with the crash. We really felt.. like we’d failed..”

A short pause occurred before the other Twin continued, “And without all of you around us for the first time in literally forever,” “It was hard not to spin out of control.” “I kept thinking about how much better it would have been if we hadn’t survived, back when we first emerged.” “So did I.”

“Oh, Twins..” started Fluorite.

“And, facing actually being poofed, in the grasp of Homeworld..” “Or broken, just now..” The Twins shuddered to think of it.

Lars raised a hand. “Hey, Twins? Do you remember what you told me? Not long after Steven left?”

“Was it when -she- accidentally insulted you?” “Or wait, were we.. talking about warp pads?”

“-I- was talking about the warp pads,” Rhodonite corrected them.

“I remember,” intoned Fluorite, “You were telling him how we’re all a crew now.”

“Yeah. It’s the whole reason I’ve been letting this weird ‘captain’ thing continue,” he smirked. “I mean, if you guys need a captain, I’ll do it. I got nothing else going on. But uh, I need you too. All of you.”

“Oh, of course,” the Twins smiled back. “We’re right there with you.” “Logically, we know we did everything we could to land as safely as possible, but there’s still a nagging voice there.” “Hey, don’t call me that!” The Twins chuckled quietly at the lame joke, electing a short chuckle from the others too.

“Also, you didn’t insult me. It’s true. Humans really don’t know anything when we, er, ‘come out’.”

Rhodonite remembered something and jumped excitedly in place. “Oh yeah! Did you guys know that Lars is only eighteen? One-eight-point-zero?! He isn’t even in his early hundreds yet! Not even close! Right, Lars?”

“No way!” “So new!” “He has learned so much in less than a mere two decades!” The Twins and Fluorite gasped in awe and disbelief as Lars blushed deeply. 

“Rhodoniiiiite..! That was between me, Pearl and Padparadscha.”

“I’m sorry, I had to!”

“I would have told them eventually anyway,” shrugged Padparadscha from down in his arms. “I’m a terrible gossip.”

Lars glanced down at her, eyebrow raised in surprise, just as the warp stream terminated. 

Suddenly they were standing on a Galaxy Warp under a bright white star and pale sky. Lars had been unprepared for it, however, and landed on his butt despite Padparadscha somehow landing softly upright next to him. Nearby, a couple of green gems were sitting together on one of the smaller pads, backs to them, talking privately between themselves. The others balked as Rhodonite defensively and quickly initiated a new warpstream. The Off Colors disappeared back into it as the two strangers started to turn to see what was going on.

Rhodonite caught her breath, once again in the safety of the warp stream. “Whew, that wasn’t safe at all. Fluorite - we really need to be unfused next time we land, too.”

“I think I do like warping,” said Lars, shutting his eyes again and allowing himself to indulge in feeling weightless. “These longer trips are almost relaxing. But how are you supposed to know when it’s about to stop? That landing hurt my butt.”

Rhodonite blinked, surprised. “You can’t tell when it’s going to stop?”

“Uh, no? Mustn’t be a native feature for humans, not even with the upgrade,” he shrugged.

“I’ll give you warning, then.”

“What do you think you’ll do when we get to Earth, Lars?” asked a Twin. “What would you recommend we do?” asked the other.

“I.. haven’t really thought about it.. Oh!” He opened his eyes again. “We could go get pizza or donuts, or something. I’m pretty sure you guys could eat if you wanted. Amethyst, the one on Earth, shakes us down for donuts all the time.”

The gems all listened closely and quietly despite all the things they couldn’t yet make sense of.

“We just add it to Steven’s tab,” he continued. “Hnn, we could also go see some wrestling. It’s where people dress up in costumes and fight each other for fun on Saturday nights.”

“What are ‘Saturday nights’?” asked Fluorite, curious.

Lars blinked. “..So, on Earth, we split our cycles into columns of seven, and we name each column - they’re called the days of the week. Saturday is my favorite one I guess, but only after I’m done with work.”

“Do you think it will be ‘Saturday’ when we get to Earth?” asked a Rutile, and the other responded. “I hope so, Lars just said it was his favorite day, so it sounds wonderful!” “And to think, this ‘Saturday’ makes up a seventh of all time!” “What else do you do on Saturday?”

Lars smiled goofily at all the gems who were hanging onto his every word. “Ah, you.. you guys have -got- to be joking, right? My life can’t be that interesting to magical aliens.”

“You want us to tell you what we did in a cave system for thousands of years instead?” smirked Rhodonite.

Lars nodded. “Fair. Fair point. So, the wrestling, well, the Jubilee reminded me a lot of it.. Although it hasn’t been as good lately since Tiger Millionaire and Purple Puma-”

He stopped short, expecting a bit of homesickness, but instead he found himself having an epiphany as a couple of previously unrelated neurons in his brain fired up at the same time, creating a connection that had never happened before. Or, perhaps it was simply an odd moment of clarity after having been trying not to think too much about home for so long, but..

“-ARE Steven and Amethyst!?” He screwed his face up as he completed his thought.

“Captain,” started a Twin, concerned, and the other jumped in too. “Are you okay?”

“Nooo, I’m really not,” groaned Lars as yet another aspect of his life fell apart.

“You’re going to tell us more about this Sadie somecycle, aren’t you?” Rhodonite was dying to hear more about this mysterious human that he’d namedropped a couple of times before. She’d seemed to mean too much for him to say. She was twisted up inside about it.

He blinked. “Sadie?! Uhhh, what do you want to know?”

“Everything! Have you two fused?!” Rhodonite was frantic, itching to know the sordid details.

“Are you in love?” “What’s she like?” asked the Twins.

“What do you like to do together?” smiled Fluorite.

“What colors does she have?” asked Padparadscha.

Lars was absolutely blindsided by all the sudden questions. His face turned a deep pink in embarrassment.

“Aha, wh- humans can’t- well, that’s.. personal,” he looked away and rubbed his neck, but decided to go for it. 

“Sadie.. well, hm. She’s blond, and she’s kind. Like, super kind. Even to me. She’s really into horror films, and we like a lot of the same movies, except for some of her dumb fluffy ones, I guess.” He smiled, “She’s a good singer, too - she sings sometimes in the back room at work, or when she’s restocking, when she doesn’t think I’m listening,“ he frowned slightly, touching a hand to his cheek as a realization struck him. “Hm.. Guess she thinks I’ll make fun of her or something.”

He stared blankly at nothing in particular for a moment. “And, she’s pretty.” He frowned harder. “But I.. never even told her I thought that, did I?”

Taking a deep breath, he at last continued. “Actually, I’ve.. we’ve been in a rut for a while. I thought it was getting better but, uh, maybe not..”

And then, he had ditched her. Once at the potluck, and again while she was asking for help, and then he had died. In space. He blinked hard and wiped an eye, real subtle-like.

“I just, I hope she’s.. doing okay.”

He folded his arms, an uncomfortable look on his face for a moment. Rhodonite clasped all her hands together and stared at him, empathy written all over her face. She’d become particularly fond of this young, pink human and was about to change the subject but, awkwardly, Lars had the same idea. He piped back up again, a little less enthusiastically this time. “Or, or there’s Funland, down the boardwalk. We could go hang there. There’s a gaming arcade I haven’t been to in a while.”

“Ugh, more Earth ‘games’..?” Rhodonite looked completely unsold.

“Rhodonite, how many times do I have to apologize?! These other games are actually fun, I promise.”

“No, it’s too late. I’m very skeptical about your taste in ‘games’.”

“Before I even told you the rules, I said that I Spy was a stupid game! There are lots of better ones, but they need extra stuff. It was just convenient because all you need is at least one visionsphere - which some of us have in spades. Wait till you play Army of War.”

Rhodonite shut her eyes and shook her head in mock ignorance. “You’re going to have to prove yourself when we’re on Earth. Also, look out. We’re moments away from stopping.”

The two fusions unfused, but the second landing was bleak. It was a dark, abandoned colony on a used up, unstable planet. They could tell it was unstable because the planetquake they experienced while there lasted the duration of their albeit short stay. The pitch black sky was littered with bright, twinkling, unfamiliar stars and Lars, who had managed to land on his feet this time, hugged his folded arms closer into his torso and shivered.

“Woo! Kinda cold here, guys.”

“That’s a no from me, as well.” Padparadscha agreed.

“Next!” called the Twins, and the warp stream was immediately re-initiated. The fusions re-fused.

“I know you don’t like seeing broken worlds,” Rhodonite said to Lars, their prior squabble forgotten.

“Not all colonies turn out well,” Fluorite shrugged casually.

“Huh? Oh, that’s fine..”

A quiet moment passed until Lars spoke up - there was clearly something on his mind.

“Okay, here’s the thing. Humans.. we don’t have powers. At all. We’re born, we learn as much as we wanna, we live for like eighty years - if we’re lucky - then we die. I, I mean - of course it’s because I’m pink now - I know that’s why I was able to do it. But I don’t understand how it happened.. How I did that thing that saved us.” 

He hesitated before admitting, “Guys, it was.. another fluke.” 

The gems around him all knew exactly to what he was referring.

He lowered his voice and his eyes, arms still folded in front of him. “We should all be dead right now.”

“Stars, that was..” Rhodonite shuddered, motioning at both him and Padparadscha. “Seeing that.. how you two were almost..” She fell silent, unable to put it into words. Her two sets of arms held each other in a sweet but confusing manner. 

“It would be redundant to say that we are very lucky to have you with us on this journey, because we wouldn’t have ever left the kindergartens otherwise.” said Fluorite.

Lars shrugged, “Sure, but that’s all any of this has ever been - this whole ordeal. Stupid luck, and how we react to it.”

Padparadscha pushed her bangs out of the way of her visionsphere. “All of us knew that leaving the cavern would be incredibly risky, but we’d been stuck there for so, so long. We were stagnant, in a stasis. Our own ‘rut’, I suppose. When you showed up, that was ‘Saturday’ for us. We made the decision that trying for something better was more preferable than not trying at all. That.. whatever the outcome, bad or good, we should always be trying for better - for ourselves. For those around us.”

She let that sink in for a second before smiling. “No matter how bad things get.. Even if I could go back - even if it was safe, I wouldn’t. This is the most fun I have ever had.”

Rhodonite looked around anxiously at all her friends. “W-we’ll be stopping again soon. Let’s hope it’s a good one this time!”

The fusions un-fused once more, and they touched down on an empty Galaxy Warp facet that appeared to be floating in midair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading the bottle episode chapter. The psychological budget for this chapter was blown on all the special effects used for the last three. But in all seriousness, they needed a wind-down period between Upsilon IX and the next thing.


	11. Klavius VII.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new world, a new chance, and new options for the Off Colors.

The Galaxy Warp on this latest colony was empty as the extended Off Color crew touched down. Pearl’s arms were spread, ready to initiate a new stream if they needed it, but she lowered them as it soon became certain that they were alone in the Galaxy Warp of a stable planet.

The sky was a pale orange while the brightness and colour of the light hitting the surface reminded Lars of home. His cape swayed in the light breeze. In fact, for all the world it could have been sunset at the beach if not for the two moons clearly visible in the hazy sky above them, and the fact that the Galaxy Warp Facet was small and suspended in the air, surrounded by six tall crystalline pillars like an ancient stone circle. Upon them were written words in Gem, which Lars frowned at. Pearl translated for his benefit.

“Klavius VII. One of Yellow’s.”

“Oh, this looks.. fine,” said Ruby. She passed up to Lars the destabilizer. He rejected it, but she insisted so he took it reluctantly, and after a moment, tucked it into his belt.

Pearl gingerly stepped off the pad, giving the all clear to everyone else. “So the general idea is to hide in plain sight again until we know more,” she said in a low voice, “Right, Captain?”

“Of course it is,” he replied, “Because.. we don’t actually have anything else.”

Padparadscha stepped carefully down from the warp pad, helped by several Fluorite components. “I feel cautiously optimistic but, as usual, unable to offer real insight as to what we may find here,” she observed.

They moved as a group over to a smaller warp pad closer to the edge of the structure. From there, miles from the ground, they had an extremely impressive view of the surrounding regions.

It was clearly a new colony, a work in progress. From what they could see, under Lars’ definition, Klavius VII was still a planet. Gem structures were still in the process of being built and they dotted the landscape - but the world directly visible to them still seemed primal, wild. There were still real mountain ranges, rivers that snaked between them, vegetation still able to thrive. 

For now.

“Unreal,” uttered Lars. “This one looks just like Earth. Except.. the plants are purple?”

“Okay, this colony is still in its early stages,” reasoned Pearl. “Which should mean thaaaat.. well, I-I don’t know. I’ve never visited a new colony before.” 

A Fluorite component looked up. “Among other things, it’ll mean that the presence of a real military will depend on whether there is, one: a capable native resistance or not, two: rebel gems or not, or three: both.”

“Exactly,” said Pearl, smiling. “Couldn’t have said it better.”

“Looks peaceful,” opined Ruby.

They looked around at each other to ensure everyone was present on the local area warp pad. Flourite’s components made sure to surround the Rutile Twins tightly enough to hide their condition in the event that they rematerialized in the company of other gems, and Padparadscha took her place alongside the Captain.

They disappeared into the warp stream.

~*~*~*~*~*~

From what little they saw between the Galaxy Warp, the warp pad on the ground, and the forest they immediately made for, this colony appeared not to have heard of the piratical gems of distant Upsilon IX yet. The Off Colors took precautions against the possibility anyway. Their first step once on the ground, as they took a little time to investigate some of the strange, leafy organic life forms sticking up out of it, was to separate from gem civilization entirely and establish a hidden base.

“This is so strange,” said a Twin, sniffing at a nearby flower as they traipsed through the concealment of a forest, toward higher ground. “Is this what Earth is like, too?” asked the other.

“Yeah,” confirmed Lars. “All these things are alive, like us.”

“Alive?! But they don’t move.. or do anything,” said Ruby, scratching her head while looking up at what Lars would loosely define as a tree. She cupped her hands around her mouth and called out up at it. “Helloooo up there!”

“Ruby, really. You’re going to draw attention to us,” warned Pearl as she glanced around nervously.

“Is Earth just like this? Are many of these things bigger than the Diamonds themselves?” asked Padparadscha, whose attention was quickly taken by a small weird flying creature.

Lars breathed deeply, but the old homesickness wasn’t feeling so bad right at this moment. “Yeah! Trees can grow crazy tall like these. The town I live in has trees and plants and stuff, but it’s also right next to a big ocean. Which is like, a whole bunch of water. Oceans make up like seventy percent of the Earth’s surface, or something, I forget.”

The gems all gave little impressed noises as they ground to a stop, taking a moment to be astounded by the beauty surrounding them. 

“Tell us more about your town,” asked Ruby.

Lars would have rather kept going, but he had to stop too. After a moment, he found himself appreciating the moment for what it was as well. “Yeah, my town is basically on a beach. That’s why it’s called Beach City, I guess. That means there’s sand everywhere too. And boy does it get -everywhere-.

Ruby was open-mouthed, following her friend’s story closely. “Is the ocean alive, too?”

“I.. guess so? In a way? Even if it’s not, it’s still a super important part of Earth. One time, a Homeworld gem tried to steal it, and things got pretty grim for like a day or two.” He blinked. “I’m.. surprised the fallout from that wasn’t much more catastrophic, actually. But anyway-”

The conversation went on in a similar rambling fashion as they continued making their way through the forest. They were soon able to establish a base in the form of a natural cave in the mountainside above the forest, well away from the quarters of the worker gems toiling miles away at the nearest kindergarten. There, sitting around the cave as the evening rolled around, illuminated by the glow of gemlight, the Off Colors talked in hushed tones about what they’d seen so far and what they should do, making sure they decided upon some basic rules of conduct for the endeavor. 

“Look, I know we want to stick together, and that it hurts when we’re apart,” said a Fluorite component who had the floor for the moment, “But we can’t just parade around again in a big group here on Klavius VII. It’s too obvious!”

Another component looked saddened and stricken by this. “Nooooo-!”

“Well even if it’s not obvious at first, it definitely will be when news of our exploits and descriptions of all of us start rolling in from Sector Two!” said Pearl with more than a touch of nervousness.

A round of murmuring to the tune of “great point” rose from the crowd. Ruby excitedly raised a hand in the middle of it all. “You’re suggesting we split up and assimilate.”

The component who had spoken first nodded. “For a cycle or two, those of us who can.. sure.”

“But,” came Ruby’s follow up, “Isn’t that the opposite of what we were saying in the warpstream?”

“At least it will be our decision to split up this time,” said a Rutile. “Yeah, it’ll be our own choice,” said the other.

“The warp pad over near the kindergarten will get all of us where we need to go,” surmised Pearl. “We just need to keep an eye out for natives, if there are any, and also of course other gems as well,” she smiled nervously.

The rest of the night was spent working out loose plans - past experience had taught them that, sometimes, plans needed to be fluid. Eventually the talk turned to what their future might be like, some sweet day, far away, on Earth.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The Rutile Twins sat outside the cave, on lookout, as the daystar began to creep over the horizon. The air hung with a light mist. Lars stepped out to join them and was taken once again by how Earthlike it all was.

“Hello Captain!” smiled a Twin. “Are you ready for the mission?”

Lars hesitated, looking out a bit longer over the descending mountainside, the tall dark forest sloping down below them, beyond that the canyon where the kindergarten lay, and distant valleys the rivers had carved into the rock over time. And one day, he knew, it would be all gone. Destroyed by the Gem Empire. Like Upsilon IX, like the others the experienced briefly during the extended series of warps, like Homeworld itself.

Like Earth could have been. And, for all he knew, possibly may yet.

“Captain?”

He turned back to the two with a smile. “It feels very wrong to be awake during sunrise without coffee, but since I haven’t slept in what-I-think-are-weeks anyway - yeah!” He had a vague optimistic feeling. “Are you guys ready?”

“For what?” “To hang around here all cycle and wait for everyone to come back?” came the Twin’s replies, tainted with a touch of bitterness.

“I’m sorry you guys can’t come. We can’t risk losing you again. We can’t risk losing anyone.”

“Yeah, I get it,” “I understand too,” they smiled back reassuringly. "We just wish.." "We could be useful."

Into the dim morning light, more gems emerged. They began by hugging each other goodbye and then each divided into the odd teams they decided upon during the night in order to to move off through the forest towards the inner workings of the colony to join the clade of gem society that they were originally made to be part of. 

Each team had just a simple task. To observe, listen and learn.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Pearl and Lars touched down on a warp pad nearby the colony’s spaceport. It was mid afternoon, Lars guessed, from the looks of the sky. A mere handful of Citrines were guarding the building, and they were able to observe a team of small gems hauling some kind of container up to the entrance. They were let in without issue. 

Although the building wasn’t as massive as the one on Homeworld, it was still huge and impressive military outpost on a remote, new colony. Outside it was a shipyard where a few dozen ships of all shapes and sizes were docked.

The half-fusion masquerading as a lone servile pearl, and the gem-affected kid that thought himself still human wandered around the outside a little, with Pearl making sure to keep a couple of steps behind as per custom. Keeping up the pretense of having a purpose, they scoped out the surrounds and took care to carefully note the positions of the ships that interested them based on what some of the more knowledgeable gems were saying the previous evening.

The citrines on guard watched them with mild curiosity, but the pink gem with the pearl seemed important and, as her look was carefully completed with a pissy frown, they were forced to wonder how worthwhile it would be to engage her.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Infiltrating the Communication Hub were half the Fluorite components. It was night time there. They stuck together closely and were quickly put to task by a limb-enhanced Peridot who bad-temperedly informed them that, although everything was still working perfectly, they needed to haul their gravity connectors and help repair the damage dealt to the structure by a massive, recent storm before its integrity deteriorated.

She grumbled that she couldn’t wait until the atmosphere of this planet had been killed back a little. She was ready for some peace.

Not understanding what a storm was, or even fully what they were supposed to be doing exactly, they set about their task willingly, just pleased to have something to do. Pleased to be distracted from the fact that they weren’t whole - distracted from the insidious worry that ate away at them.

They kept their heads down and their listeners open the entire time they were there.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Padparadscha and Ruby touched down to find themselves outside a glittering crystal basilica built into a floating chunk of rock, high above the clouds. It was high noon locally. Ruby saw how unsure Padparadscha was and swallowed her own fear and insecurity. The lost half of Rhodonite smiled, bowed, and gestured her arms to allow the imperfect sapphire to go first. 

Padparadscha stood blankly for a moment before realizing what this was all about before smiling in a baffled manner and turning to make her way up the stairs to the entrance. Ruby followed a couple of steps behind her as dictated by custom.

Entering the open-air basilica, they found it to be vast and beautiful, inhabited by a number of delicate-looking, demure gems. The whole place was silent, but they could both see that the extremely subtle focus of attention was on them. Padparadscha froze, soft ice crystals forming at the hem of her dress.

Ruby whispered something into Padparadscha’s listener, a word of encouragement, and they both soon stepped forward into a world they both had so swiftly missed out on being part of in vastly incomparable ways.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The other half of the asunder Fluorite components were to infiltrate the nearby kindergarten where it was still morning. They saw that it was a work in progress - from a cursory glance, one of the more knowledgeable pieces of the whole was able to discern that roughly half of its new gems had emerged already, and they heard the distant echos of injectors working away in a different part of the canyon, planting the next generation of loyal Homeworld gems.

They found themselves put upon by an Era One Peridot, a much more impressive-looking being than all these Era Two peridots they had seen running around in more recent times, before they had been exiled from Homeworld’s upper levels.

The Peridot demanded to know what they were doing and, without awaiting a response, insisted they return to the part of the kindergarten that was under construction. Two of the components turned to obey, but stopped uncertainly as the hotheaded component of Fluorite stood her ground and argued right back.

The Peridot, seeing a massive problem, decided to put it down and openly threatened her with physical damage.

Without the calming influence of her fellows, the hotheaded component of Fluorite flew into a blind rage.

~*~*~*~*~*~

At a different time, back outside the cave, the Rutiles greeted the final team to arrive back from the infiltration and info-gathering efforts. The daystar was going down, and the cave was a hive of activity once again.

“Oh my stars, you’re the last group back!” “Everyone else is inside, planning how to rescue you!” “Did you find anything out at the Communication Hub?”

A component of Fluorite shook her head. “All we found was that we’re not being looked for here. Yet. No news has filtered through the expected channels, anyway.”

“That’s great!” “That’s something! Come in!”

The newcomers were greeted by everyone with a deep sense of relief, and soon, everyone was chatting excitedly about what they had discovered.

Pearl and two of the more technically savvy components of Fluorite crowded around a piece of gem tech that worked like a tablet but looked more like a thin rectangle of transparent crystal. Lars hovered around behind them, completely useless to them but curious nonetheless.

The hotheaded component of Fluorite was bragging while being fawned over by several of her newly-arrived fellow Fluorite components. “And that’s how I poofed the Peridot down at the kindergarten and got us this ‘awesome’ screen, as the Captain put it.”

“I hope you were careful!”

“I’m always careful,” she replied, pointing at the green gem which was floating in a bubble up near the cave’s ceiling.

Pearl glanced up in a mild horror. “Oh, stars! No! How many crimes does that make now?”

“It’ll be fine, Pearl,” said Ruby as she climbed around the walls of the cave for fun. “We’ll just have to remember to let her out before we leave.”

“Well, did you two discover anything worthwhile?” Pearl asked Ruby, to which the response came from Padparadscha, down by her side.

“No,” beamed the little orange gem. “The aristocrats kept asking -me- questions. Oh, Pearl, can you imagine? I couldn’t get one of my own in edgewise.”

Ruby laughed. “Padparadscha gave out so many hilarious false prophesies to really important gems today! She’s the only Sapphire in this whole world right now.”

Padparadscha smiled, raising a hand to her face modestly, “It was fun. I don’t regret a moment of it. Except maybe telling that Tourmaline to watch her gem. I may have gone too dark there.”

“Look here,” said the Fluorite component studying the screen, “Technology has evolved significantly since I last walked Homeworld as a singular gem blindly following the Perfect Order of the Diamond Authority, but I think I have this figured out. The Peridot we got this from was likely the leader of her crew and had access to more than just the kindergarten - this thing even has details about all the ships currently docked here at this colony.”

“How.. unbelievably convenient for us,” said Pearl, filled with wonder.

“There,” Lars pointed at an image on the screen. “That’s a cool ship.”

“You have a great visionsphere for ships, Captain,” said another Fluorite component happily, zooming in on it and rattling off its specs in a knowledgeable manner. “The Sun Incinerator is the fastest in its fleet, boasting both nova thrusters and a gravity engine, lots of floor space, a fully-furnished bridge, ultra-thick hull, full compliment of blasters, full shield defense system, as well as a cargo bay. It’s a first class vessel. State of the Art.”

Lars smiled crookedly. “Yes, I.. of course noticed all of those things you said. I’m the Captain. So, how do we do it?”

“We.. can’t,” She replied, matter-of-factly, looking up at him from the screen.

“Uh, why not?”

“From what I see here, it’s one of the most protected ships on this whole colony. There will be guards and barriers and the stars only know what else guarding it.”

Lars rubbed his chin with a gloved hand. “Bah. Who would waste that kind of effort to protect just one ship?”

“The ship,” she repsonded, glancing back down at the screen briefly and smiling, “belongs to an Emerald.”

“Wait,” Lars raised a brow and pointed at his scarred eye, “-The- Emerald? With her gem in her visionsphere?”

“There is.. no way of knowing for sure from the information I have here.”

“Do you know how many Emeralds there are?” asked Pearl. When he couldn’t respond, she hesitated. “..A whole lot!”

“Hmm.. Well, can we pretend it is the same one?” he grinned.

“I love this idea,” exclaimed Ruby as she pent her touchstumps together, revengefully.

Pearl raised her hands up in exasperation. “This is no time for petty and self-destructive grudges against an entire cut of gem, Ruby. Captain Lars and I saw plenty of Roaming Eyes at the spaceport that aren’t even being kept inside of bays. Let’s just take one of those.”

“Nah, leave the barriers and sensors to me,” insisted Lars, balling a fist. “I can do this.”

“Well sure, of course you can - you’re organic. But once you are in the ship, you’ll have NO IDEA,” said the hotheaded Fluorite component, spreading her arms wide.

“You,” Lars pointed at the component who was still attached to the screen. “You could show me how to work the controls once I’m in, right?”

“Theoretically.. yes, Captain. I could even show you how to connect the ship to me via this screen, which would remotely patch me directly into the ship’s controls.”

“Then I don’t see a problem!” persisted Ruby. “As long as the Captain thinks he can do it, this is great!”

“Ruby, please, don’t encourage this. We can’t let him do this alone, especially with much easier targets available,” begged a worried Pearl.

“Fine, what if we take a vote,” Lars suggested.

Pearl looked confused and frustrated. “What in the stars is ‘a vote’?”

Lars paused, stunned for a moment. Then shook his head. “Oh, right, I sometimes forget that you’re all magic space rock ex-subjects of an interstellar dictatorship. So, a vote is where you raise a hand if you want to do the thing. Whatever the majority wants, happens.”

The gems all murmured in approval at the simplicity of the concept and watched Lars expectantly.

He tried not to sweat as all visionspheres were focused on him. “Okay, so, raise your hand.. if you want to do the thing we just said.”

It was unanimous, and Ruby was confused. “Pearl, uh, did you.. forget the rules of how to vote?”

Pearl spread her arms wide, unable to see the problem. “What? I want to do it too! Of course I do - the satisfaction alone would be more than worth it. I just don’t think it’s a good idea. But..” she smiled roguishly, “I’m in.”

Suddenly, a red notification popped up on the screen. The Fluorite component frowned and tapped it. As she read it, her countenance dropped. Ruby leaned over her shoulder.

“Oh, no, here it is! An alert about some rogue gems. If captured, we’re to be poofed and taken to Homeworld for.. ‘questioning’.”

“Poofed and helpless in the grasp of Homeworld? That’s not so bad,” one of the other Fluorite components cringed.

“Security will go up starting now,” said a Twin, gulping. “This is going to be difficult,” observed the other.

A silence fell upon the crew. Pearl looked over at the human.

“Lars, we don’t have to do this. We can bide our time. Look for another way.”

Lars reflected on the situation for a moment, frowning. “They’re only looking for gems, right? No organics?”

The Fluorite component re-read the bulletin. “..No organics.”

Lars narrowed his eyes. “The longer we stay here, the more likely we are to get caught out somehow.”

“Oh! Oh! I remember - That’s how the Captain got his two-year ban from ‘Totally Games’!” cried Ruby, waving her hand around. “Whatever that means! I hope it wasn’t as bad as being poofed though.”

“Then, there should be a way,” said Pearl. “While we were scoping out the spaceport, we noticed worker gems hauling containers of specimens inside. They weren’t even questioned about it. Maybe we could use that.”

The crew sat down to study the screen intently and worked on their plan well into the night. There was no talk of Earth this time - experience borne of failure had also taught them when an airtight plan was needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The original Chapter 11 became crazy long and unwieldy, so just yesterday I made the decision to split it into two separate chapters. Which meant I could extend this one a little! :D This extends the total to 13 - a bakers dozen, in honor of Lars. It also ties into the luck theme I guess. Meh, don’t read into it. XD
> 
> Time to admit something! I totally forgot that the Sun Incinerator was “Stolen from the heart of Homeworld” according to one of the space opera-style title cards in ‘Lars of the Stars’ until a couple of days after I finished writing the bulk of this chapter. I would typically take that phrase to mean, since it was obviously not stolen from Homeworld itself, that Klavius is either much closer or very culturally significant (or both) to Homeworld. So, I’m a little annoyed at myself for overlooking that little detail and instead writing Klavius VII as a relatively new-ish colony, albeit one that at least part of Emerald’s fleet is stationed on (for the sake of the story haha). However, I don’t actually have the desire to re-write this (or the following) chapter, so I’ll thumb my nose at canon one last time (I think) for this fic. :(


	12. The Elite Citrines.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just 'being made of meat' alone won't get Lars out of this one!

Some time before the dawning of the following cycle, a small crew of gems carried a container towards the spaceport from the nearby warp pad. They soon saw in the glow of artificial light that it was true - security had been increased since the bulletin came through. There were citrine guards everywhere this morning, patrolling, stationed as sentries - all completely contrary to the report from the previous day. 

Troublingly, there was also not a single ship to be seen outside this morning, which meant that Plan B was no longer in the cards.

They stopped, yards from the warp pad, and a hushed discussion quickly took place between them before they approached any closer, but the hotheaded component of Fluorite stood her ground by saying, “No! We’re not pulling out. He’ll be annoyed if we turn back now!”

“What?” came Lars’ muffled contribution from inside the container.

One of the gems moved her mouth closer to the airhole he had insisted upon having, to plea her case.

“The contingency plan is scrapped, Captain - no outdoor ships. To make things worse, we’re counting thirty or more citrines out here. The Galaxy Warp, as well, will be crawling with them-”

He cut her off.

“That’s great to know, but… So?! We’re not stopping! I didn’t cram my ass into this stars-damned coffin to NOT steal a wicked awesome ship! D’ya know how crappy it is in here? This stupid destabilizer thing is poking me in the ribs - which sucks, by the way, for those of you who don’t have ribs. If I’m not in a spaceport when this thing opens, I swear I’m just gonna give up and live here forever-” came Lars’ muffled and indignant yet quiet rant.

The component of Fluorite looked stressed. “Okay, wow-”

The hothead softened and smiled at her immediately. “Don’t stress. This is happening. For once, we’re prepared. Don’t worry, everything will work out and then.. when it’s safe, we can be Fluorite again.” 

They resumed the task and made their way past the citrines stationed around the place, up to the spaceport entrance where a Citrine guarding the building stopped the small transport by crossing their path with a destabilizer.

“You there,” she called, sounding bored. “State your purpose.”

“The others didn’t have to explain themselves yesterday,” muttered the hotheaded Fluorite component.

“Well, today’s not yesterday, is it? It’s a whole new cycle with whole new set of problems, especially for you if you don’t -state your purpose-!”

“Diamond Orders to drop off interesting samples of the local flora to be transported to Homeworld for study,” said another component, having rehearsed many times the night before. She took a breath to continue, but the other Citrine simply scanned the container with a small device that they could reasonably assume to be a gem scanner. It passed either way, and the first Citrine promptly removed the weapon that was barring them entry.

“Hm. Proceed. Come straight back when you’re done so we can account for you. And, watch yourselves. Security will be tight for a while yet.” And they watched as the small team carried the container through the door that slid open behind them. 

The other Citrine glanced over, addressing her peer. “These Diamond Orders just get stranger and stranger.”

The first one agreed. “Yeah, first organics for zoos, and now these.. wooden infestations? What value is there in these things? What about us gems? Aren’t we in the middle of an epic resource crisis?”

From the floorplan they’d memorized from the screen, the team brought the container through another couple of sliding doors to a room with many other similar containers in it, ready to be checked before moving to be transported. There was no one around, so they hauled the lid off and there was Lars, uncomfortably cramped up inside it. He instantly kicked a leg out and sat up before sliding out of the box, assisted by a couple of the gems. He had ditched his cape for this mission figuring it to be a bit too cumbersome for such a stealthy operation, but had the destabilizer in case of an emergency.

“Captain!?” “Ouch, our poor organic Captain. No wonder you were cranky.” “It’s a shame you can’t shapeshift,” came a little bit of sympathy from a couple of the gems.

“Maybe you’ll be okay in here, looked like all the citrines were outside,” shrugged the hotheaded component as she replaced the lid of the container. She then looked up at Lars, arms akimbo. “Now. Do you remember where to go?”

Now that the plan was no longer just excited talk with his cohorts, Lars’ optimism had given way to nervousness and a vague yet oppressive sense of dread - As always, he was painfully aware that the main ace they had here was the fact that he was made of meat and bone instead of hard light with a gem at his core. But he tried his best to hide the insecurity he was feeling. “Yeah. Yeah, I got it.”

“Great,” smiled another component, also attempting to not look nervous. “Because it’s too late to back out!”

He tried a small smile. “You say that like I have no idea.”

“We’ll go and regroup with the others and take our positions. You can do this!”

“Good luck, Captain Lars. We’re counting on you!”

Lars held out a fist, and the gems weren’t sure how to react at first. Then one of them fistbumped him back, followed shortly by the others. They moved out quickly, talking excitedly amongst themselves about the strange yet oddly satisfying human gesture they’d just learned. Lars smiled until they parted ways, the gems heading back outside to be accounted for by the guards, and him heading the opposite way, deep into what he soon found to be an orange hell.

These corridors were also thronging with citrines.

He immediately found it necessary to duck behind a grouping of what reminded him of gigantic arterial conduits traveling down a wall as a trio of them slowly turned the corner up ahead and walked past him. There was very little space behind it, but he was just thin enough to do it. He found himself suddenly glad for all the practice he’d had when they were all still back in the kindergarten, ducking into exit holes, dodging gems. Without that, he knew he would have been thoroughly under-prepared for all of this.

Sharing another similarity with the kindergarten - the facility seemed to carry sound well, so he knew that the direction we was supposed to turn next was unsafe and was instead forced to run in the complete opposite direction. 

He ran for a few hundred yards until he heard gravity connector-steps approaching in front of him. In response, he turned down another side passage.

All the while, he was struggling to keep tabs on his extraneous movements in his head. He knew that in order to get back to the agreed-upon ship, he had to double back a significant amount.

But for the meantime - More noise. More gems. He found himself in a corridor that connected to a series of docking bays, the doors of which were only hard-light barriers. He couldn’t believe his luck - his happy, cursed luck - and slipped through one as though he were a ghost.

Leaning back against the side of the wall close to the barrier, he held the destabilizer in his hands and listened to the steps fading off into the distance. Only to hear another set approaching. And another.

He shut his eyes, trying to remember what a real elevated heartrate was like - what he really had going on right now wasn’t it, and for the moment he felt like it was good thing. He focused in on it for a few long moments, trying to calm the storm in his head, only to jump violently when the barrier next to him terminated and two citrines piled into the hangar right next to him.

The newcomers were clearly not expecting a strange pink gem with a destabilizer to be there, and both did a doubletake at him as he remained pressed up against the wall, petrified. For what seemed a long, long moment the two parties stared at each other uneasily until the barrier, likely on a timer, came back on. 

“Get the barrier,” said one of them to the other, pulling a whip out of her gem. “I’ll take care of this!”

“N-no!” shouted Lars, taking a step forward, holding the destabilizer in both hands and pointing it at them. He immediately attempted to rush the weaponed one, but she sidestepped him. As she did so, she swung her whip out and it encircled his legs. 

Lars took a dive flat onto his face. The destabilizer flung out of his hands, across the floor and clattered uselessly in front of the other Citrine, who smiled grimly and picked it up.

“Why, thanks!”

Lars grunted as he struggled against the whip’s coils, bending to try to loosen them with his hands, but he gasped and stopped as he saw the other Citrine raising the destabilizer high above him. Those two sharp points glittered wickedly.

“Aaah!”

 _C’mon! Lars! You gotta get up! We gotta move!_ Her voice rang in his ears like that of a phantom, and in a single shining moment of clarity he could see that he had a distant chance.

In a desperate bid to gain traction with his boots on the stone floor, using all his core strength, he launched himself at her legs, and held onto them as tight as he could. An innately animalistic fight instinct was the exact last thing one gem expected to see in another gem and, taken by surprise, she attempted to step away but fell directly into the barrier.

Lars looked up in a panic to see her entire form glitching uncontrollably. “Oh crap!” he offered uselessly.

Something in the corner of his vision caught his eye and he noticed the destabilizer had clattered onto the floor next to him. He quickly grabbed and desperately moved it to poof the suffering Citrine, just before the remaining Citrine yanked her whip back - with Lars still tangled in it.

She hung Lars upside down from his legs at armslength. He yelled and swung, attempting to swipe at her with the destabilizer with each swing but the Citrine, easily ten times his mass at least and arm outstretched, was safe from his reach. She used this moment to study him, unimpressed.

“How DARE you poof an Elite Citrine, you runty little - What in the name of Homeworld are you?” She asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

“I’m-” swipe, “An-” swipe, “Off Color!” he grunted in the midst of his struggling efforts to poof her as well.

She laughed. “You!? You are what they’re all worried about? Pathetic.”

Suddenly he swung at just the right angle, and threw the destabilizer at her. It connected with her chest, and she screamed as a bright yellow light broke her apart and she poofed. Lars widened his eyes as he dropped a good foot or two onto the floor.

The whip had disappeared along with her, and he lay there for a good long moment as he gathered his wits back up. Shortly, he remembered that he was alone, with two inactive gems, his body in pain, his face damp with flopsweat.

He supposed being pink now had bestowed upon him a bit more resilience as well as stamina, although he did manage to notice a little bit of what he assumed was blood coming out of his nose. He dabbed at it and, upon doing a doubletake at his glove, took it off and dabbed with his bare hand again to make sure. 

“Huh?” He guessed his blood was pink now too, and had a strange translucent quality in the light that he couldn’t quite find the words in his head to describe, even if he’d had the time to give it some thought.

He wiped it away and began to stand up while trying to ignore the pain which seemed to already be fading - unlike the slowly encroaching existential crisis - before catching sight of the two gems on the floor in front of him.

A cold sweat took him as he realized he had no idea how long a gem would need to reform. How long had Fluorite’s components taken? Lars had no clue - they had been safe in Rhodonite’s Pearl’s pearl when it happened. Suddenly, he had a thought; A bubble. How had Steven done it, back on that magical island? In the lighthouse basement? How had Ruby done it, back in the space prison? The Zircon had merely snapped her touchstumps in order to gag him with one during the trial, but that seemed like an outlier. He struggled to form a theory.

He felt ridiculous, but had to try. 

Lars moved closer to the gems and sat on his knees. He removed his remaining glove, quickly outstretched both hands towards them, then proceeded to almost pop a vein trying to will a bubble into existence around them. 

Of course, he thought to himself in derision as he gave up - the one weird gem-thing he actually wanted to do with whatever pink powers he had now, and he’d almost given himself an aneurysm. After having come to view it as an exercise in futility he shoved his gloves back on, grabbed the destabilizer, hauled himself back onto to his feet, and ran away.

Backtracking now was difficult. All the corridors looked the same, and all this having to leap behind pillars, into alcoves or behind creepy clusters of artery-conduits at every unknown noise was throwing him off. 

Finally, he made it - he was back where he started.

This time, when the intersection was safe, he turned into the correct direction, and straightaway was forced to duck into yet another side room. It appeared to be some kind of fancy-looking administration or break room, complete with a table - upon which was placed a screen - and chairs. Behind him the approaching footsteps were unrelenting, and had no choice but to duck under the table.

For the next - hour? longer? - he anguished silently to himself as he huddled up under that table as a Citrine quietly sat there, tapping away at the screen, her legs mere inches away from him. To distract himself from the many and varied worst case scenarios he was more than capable of imagining in the best of circumstances, he eventually tried to instead imagine what kind of weird, important gem business she was remotely taking care of. Or, maybe she was on using a gem social media platform. It followed, he thought, that it would have some utterly bizarre and offputting name. Countenance Directory, perhaps. Or Fusionr. Maybe a separate app called Illegal Fusionr.

But mostly all he tried to do while waiting was to keep positive. He told himself that it was okay to be afraid. That everything would be alright. It had to be. And that he’d be with his friends again - even the ones back on Earth, as well as his family, eventually - if only he could make it though this.

Suddenly, another Citrine barged her way in. 

“Boss! We have a situation!”

Lars listened in a state approaching terror as the seated Citrine’s legs stiffened right next to him. 

“What is it!?” 

The newcomer was frantic. “Two of ours were poofed in a locked docking bay! One has only just regenerated. Apparently there’s a strange gem, a ‘runty pink defect’ she said, running around with a destabiliser! They caught her in a locked bay but they came the worse-off in an altercation. Don’t ask me how! Strange thing is, the barrier wasn’t opened or closed by anyone apart from them. And, we don’t know how long it’s been!”

The seated Citrine stood up. “Are all the ships accounted for!?”

“That’s what we’re trying to find out right now! This report only just happened!”

“Find out! And lock this place down! No one gets in or out. We need to get on top of this!”

Lars’ heart only beat once every handful of seconds or so nowadays, but he could swear in this situation that it might almost be mistaken for a normal resting heartrate. Maybe that of a really healthy and calm person.. at a stretch.

The two Citrines left to run damage control, and Lars continued to huddle under the desk as he could hear activity picking up from other parts of the facility. Gems were freaking out, and despite having felt marginally better in the moments before the report came in, he found himself too afraid to move.

He soon started wondering what he could possibly die of, if not from lack of food or water, if he were to remain hiding where he was for as long as he possibly could. Or, would he be discovered first? And, what would they do with him, upon discovery that he wasn’t a gem at all?  
Perhaps that wouldn’t even be a problem, he thought bitterly, as this destructive train of thought led him down a new track; how badly would they have to injure him before realizing he couldn’t be poofed?

It didn’t bear thinking about, because his friends were just outside, waiting for him. And he knew they wouldn’t leave him, because that’s what Off Colors did.

And that was the crux of it all. 

The thought of his friends waiting out there left him feeling motivated once more. As soon as the corridor directly outside the room was quiet, he scrambled out from under the desk and quickly resumed his search for the correct docking bay.

The citrines appeared to be focusing most of their efforts for the time being on a different section of the facility, so he found it easier to travel this time. A couple of moments of having to duck from being seen by a couple of frantic searchers later, he finally realized he had gone too far and backed up a few steps to at last lay eyes upon the door he’d been looking for. It was another doorway with a passcode panel, which would have been a major problem had the door itself not been made of yet another shimmering light barrier, and he himself out of meat. He threw himself through it like a toddler throws food.

And parked right in front of him, the object of this mission. The Sun Incinerator! It stood huge before him, a little more yellow than he had anticipated, maybe - but as was true of every single step of this insane ordeal, it was way too late to back out of this.

Footsteps - again. Shit. He had to run and slide his way behind some crates to the left of the door. He remained still and silent, refusing to even breathe, as the citrine guards walked from the opposite direction, tapped the code, and exited the bay with no issues. 

He waited a few extra minutes to ensure his isolation before moving back out into the open. He hurried over to the control panel at the hatch of the ship and pressed the button to open the door.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Finally on the ship, he found himself in a cargo bay. The hatch slid shut behind him. Immediately in front of him was a smaller ship, much smaller than the Emerald’s shuttle had been, just parked there. Interesting. But since he had an out-of-control schedule to get back on track with, he lodged that away in his brain for now and rushed up flights of stairs straight to the bridge and, after casting around for a second, he threw himself at the pilot’s chair. 

Into the control screen, he tapped the sequence of Gem symbols he’d memorized overnight as the Off Colors had painstakingly gone over and over their very precise plan. Another screen, this one a holographic communicator, popped up in the air alongside it, giving him a fright, but it had his friend’s worried faces all over it. He was once again glad his heart had taken to beating unnaturally slow these days - he thought he’d be experiencing a major cardiac event right now if he had half a chance.

“Guys! Hey guys!”

“Lars!?” Uttered Pearl. She looked frantic - her hair was a mess from worry.

“Hey Pearl! Like the new look!”

Pearl looked horrified. “Wh-what’s that stuff leaking from your sense-sponge?!”

“..What?” Lars frowned.

The most techy Fluorite component took over the screen as she typed commands. “Captain. It’s been hours. Citrines are everywhere! We thought you were-”

“Yeah, it took forever,” he confirmed as he wiped dried blood from his face with a sleeve and felt his nose to ensure it wasn’t broken. “Forget barriers and scanners - There’s like a billion Citrines in here too, and they know I’m here! Anyway, do the-”

A ship’s blaster activated all of a sudden, and a huge hole instantly appeared in the side of the facility, right in front of the ship. And next to it, another, and some more as the blasters swiveled around, putting quite a few more holes in the surrounding walls.

“-thing,” he finished, wide-eyed.

“Already done,” the incredibly competent Fluorite component informed him in a serious manner while, behind her, he could see Ruby doing excited cartwheels. 

“The Citrines are.. scattering! It worked! They must think it’s an attack but they have no idea! They’re scrambling. We have only this brief window-” she leaned offscreen, addressing the others. “Which means we need to go! Go now!”

“We’re on our way!” said Pearl. “Stay put!”

The screen went blank and for a short moment, Lars sweated. Soon, through the bridge viewport, he saw his friends breach the smoking hole in the docking bay doors in front of him. Rhodonite was already fused, carrying Padparadscha. He turned and rushed down the stairs to find The Rutiles and the six components of Fluorite already coming up. There was an electric feeling in the air - every one of them was laughing, wiping their visionspheres in relief and happiness, but they were also preoccupied with their tasks as far as ship prep and takeoff sequences and were making beelines to their new stations to do just that. They all fist-bumped him in passing, however. He wiped he own eyes after they’d disappeared on past him to take up their stations, and continued on his way down the stairwell.

Down at the cargo bay entrance of the ship, Rhodonite had placed Padparadscha down and tapped the inside panel to lock the hatch from the inside. 

All three of them stopped to glance at each other. All four of Rhodonite’s eyes started leaking with tears of relief and happiness, and suddenly Lars found himself blinking hard uselessly as new tears rolled out.

Suddenly, Padparadscha squealed and rushed over to hug Lars as he stopped at the bottom of the stairs. He stooped down to reciprocate.

“Oh! Rhodonite!” sniffed Padparadscha, “We’ve all been through so much, but despite it all, our hard work will pay off!”

Lars looked up from the hug at Rhodonite as she also stepped towards them. From her pearl, she produced the cape and held it out to him. Padparadscha stepped back from the hug as he rose to accept it. He put it on, this time without complaint.

Rhodonite took a step forward while licking her opposable touchstump and, before he could do anything about it, she wiped the remaining dried blood from the side of his lip.

“Aaand - there you go.” She smiled, “Much better,” before pulling him into a hug as the ship’s engines came on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One left! 
> 
> As we’re coming to the end of this fic, I’d really love to know what you guys think as readers. I’m especially interested to know if there’s anything I could be doing better for my next fic. Leave a comment if you like. :)


	13. The Sun Incinerator.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Off Colors' journey was never supposed to be easy. But they're killin' it in space now.

Flanked by Rhodonite and Padparadscha, Lars stood on the bridge of the Sun Incinerator. The Twins sat at the pilot’s console at the front center of the bridge, concentrating on getting the ship out of atmo while Fluorite, back together again, stuck her head out from one of the stairwells from the lower levels of the ship.

Rhodonite looked around, impressed. “This is nice. Very nice.”

The viewport, large at the front of the bridge, showed the sky going from bright, to muted, to darkened, to finally the oddly comforting embrace of the endless void of space.

The Off Colors, for the first time free of the choking grasp of the Gem Empire, fell silent for a moment before Padparadscha perked up. “Everyone, I have splendid news!”

This caused one of the Twins to giggle, then they all broke down into relieved laughter.

Rhodonite wiped a tear away. “Wait, weren’t we just in a long-forgotten Homeworld kindergarten?! How did any of this happen!”

Suddenly, the Twins leaned forward to study their console, which had lit up in a troubling way.

“Ah, what?” “We’ve got an incoming message.”

“What?!” asked Rhodonite, startled. “Who in the stars would want to talk to us?!”

A Twin checked the details of the message. “Looks to be.. the Emerald we stole this ship from,” came the reply, at which Rhodonite cringed and gasped.

A genre-savvy Lars took a step forward, more than a little excited. “Tell me there’s an awesome big screen you can put it on.”

“Captain! Don’t you know that will mean she’ll see us all!” gulped a fearful Rhodonite.

“Uh, yeah!? She -should- see who we are, right? It’s not like she can do anything about it now. Twins!”

The communique took over the bridge viewport instantly, and they were soon looking up at the image of the gem-eyed Emerald they had met briefly back on Homeworld. The very same Emerald they had stolen from, three times now. She had her eye closed, clearly making an effort at keeping calm as she addressed the recipients of her message.

“I had an alert that my Sun Incinerator, which SHOULD be safely locked away on Klavius VII, has been-” She opened her eye, stopped open-mouthed mid-sentence, and instantly became enraged. “WHAT?! I know you! The Era Two Pezzottaite and the Orange Sapphire!? You are the ones responsible for this!?”

“Hey Emerald - It’s been a while!” came Lars’ good natured reply as Padparadscha smiled and waved briefly in greeting. Rhodonite stood next to them, both sets of hands clasped together in front of her, watching the screen nervously.

Lars’ eyes glittered and he smiled a crooked smile as she raved uselessly. This was fantastic.

“How dare you! This is unacceptable! Return my ship to me IMMEDIATELY or I’ll - Wait, what - Y-you’re allowing your insolent gems to FUSE!? This is a despicable and shameful outrage!”

Rhodonite, less scared now, frowned up at her image, and so did Fluorite.

“This is absolutely unacceptable! Have you not considered what your Diamond will do to you?”

Lars kept his voice reasonable and calm as he replied. “My crew and I - We’re just not that into Diamonds, I guess.” He smirked, “I can’t believe you haven’t figured that out already.”

Emerald was very confused, especially at how casual the whole concept sounded. “Not -that- into -Diamonds-?! Do you realize what nonsense you’re spouting?”

Lars looked around at his crew briefly before glancing back up at the screen. His face was serious. “I can’t explain how difficult this has been, for all of us, to get here - you really think all this happened on accident? Or.. or that we’d give up, just like that, because some angry green gem told us to?”

Emerald gaped, absolutely stunned, but then recovered. “Traitors and criminals! Such flagrant disrespect! Mark my words, you strange-looking Pezzottaite, I will have your gem for this. I’ll have ALL your gems! And I’ll see to it that that you’re all broken and ground into a fine dust, to be used as weapons against the enemies of Homeworld! Hah! You and your crew can still be useful to the Empire in ways you can not even comprehend - So. Return my ship to me, and turn yourselves in - immediately - and, who knows, I may even make it quick.”

Her angry eyes loomed large on the massive viewport. The gems on the bridge all shivered at the vivid description of their hypothetical demise. Lars, noticing the general feeling of the room, decided to address it.

“Hear that, Rhodonite? She says she’s gunna take our gems and mess ‘em all the way up. What do you think we should do?”

The fusion in question shook her head, staring up at the enraged Emerald displayed on the viewport. “Captain Lars, these are the worst terms I have ever heard. We’d be fools to agree to this deal.”

Emerald was all teeth. “WHAT!?” Then, “What’s a Lars?”

Lars smiled, gesturing to himself and his crew as he raised his voice cathartically. “I’M a Lars! And we are the Off Colors! And you’re not getting anything from us except our dust and a huge void in your heart where this ship used to be!” He glanced away from the screen, towards the pilots. “Twins, cut comms. I’m done with this!”

The communication terminated, and Emerald’s livid expression disappeared. The viewport displayed the empty void of space in front of them once again. Lars suddenly exhaled hard as he dropped the lofty amount of pretense required to speak in such a way to a giant angry face on a big screen and leaned heavily against the side of the captain’s chair, suddenly feeling the effects of the beating he’d taken not too long beforehand.

“Guys? We -can- stay out of her reach, can’t we?” he croaked.

“We’re going to have to now,” Rhodonite laughed before crying a little.

Lars narrowed his eyes. “She mentioned some kind of alert this ship sent her - can we make sure nothing like that happens again?”

“I have a vision that the alert was sent from a command in ‘Settings’ the instant this ship left the docking bay,” exclaimed Padparadscha.

A Twin nodded, tapping the console. “Here it is! A.. whole bunch of alerts. Thanks Padparadscha! Hm, Emerald must really like this ship. Deleted!”

The other Twin, mucking around on the other screen, cringed suddenly. “Everyone, we’ve got some.. new buddies.”

A group of fighter vessels, having punched their way out of Klavius VII’s atmosphere, were approaching from behind as shown via splitscreen on the viewport in front of them.

Padparadscha, Lars and Rhodonite all gaped at the screen. Rhodonite immediately rushed to go sit over at one of the remaining consoles, while Padparadscha lingered on the floor next to Lars, who was feeling a little unprepared for this despite their recent victories against Klavius VII and Emerald. 

“Uhh, okay. They’re not here to see us off.. Can’t we just go super fast? Is that something we can do? And I know this thing has shields.”

“Shields are up,” confirmed a Twin, “However..” “We don’t have the co-ordinates for Earth yet, and-”

“I’ll prep the nova thrusters,” said Fluorite as she disappeared back down into the engine room.

“Forget Earth for now, we gotta deal with this,” said Lars, studying the screen above them in which lasers were being blasted at their ship. The Twins employed a few maneuvers, but took one hit nonetheless.

“The lasers.. are being absorbed by our shields,” breathed a Twin thankfully. “Stars, it’s good to have a ship that works!”

Rhodonite glanced back after having studied her screen for a bit. “Captain, we need to employ evasive maneuvers and drop into hyperspeed. We can find leave this system behind and hide until we have the co-ordinates.”

“That’s a solid plan,” agreed a Twin. “Once we initiate warp sequence, there’s no steering. If we pick a random system, but drop out of hyperspeed before we get there,” “Maybe we can create a diversion and hide until we have the means to get to Earth.”

“Hey - I like that! If you think it can work, do it!” Lars felt a little optimistic again.

The Rutiles were already on it. They set about their task diligently, and for some time they were traveling outside the boundaries of reality. As soon as they dropped out they were in a completely different part of space, looking down the barrel of a rather promising asteroid belt encircling a ringed gas giant orbiting a faint star. The Twins then swiftly guided the ship down to land in a crater in the side of one of the larger asteroids close by.

The Twins looked up, relieved. “Well, it’s dark and we can’t see much,” “But if we run our systems on only the bare necessities, that should be enough to not be noticed.”

“Can I.. get some context on where we are now?” asked Lars.

“We’re in a small uncolonized system in Sector Seven. Anyone attempting to chase us -should- end up in Sector Twenty Nine in the Kyanite system, because why in the cosmos would anyone ever stop here?” came an answer of sorts from one of the Twins. “And as far as context goes, we were previously in Sector Four,” added the other.

“And maybe I should have asked earlier, but how do these sectors work?” came another hot question from Lars.

“Okay. If you imagine a series of concentric dodecahedrons centered on and radiating out from Homeworld at intervals of fifty light years across, and then numbered them in succession from one to infinity - that’s probably the easiest way to grasp it,” explained a Twin, while tapping at her screen. 

The other Twin continued, turning her torso around in the chair to face Lars she she spoke. “Then if you want to get specific - and trust me, you will, the further out from Homeworld you go - simply imagine straight lines radiating out from Homeworld intersecting the corners of each successive dodecahedron. These imaginary lines represent subsector divisions. There can be as many of these as you want or need, depending on the size of the sector and how specific you want to be. This means you could either just say ‘Sector Eighty Six’ if you were going for a more cavalier approach, or you could say ‘Sector 86, Sub 543-547863465.687465445.187784564’ if you wanted to really get down to business. To sum up, that's pretty much what we need to find Earth.”

Lars’ eye twitched as he stared at the smiling Rutile. “I regret asking. My bad.”

“Do you.. need it explained again? In a different way?” she asked.

“No, please. Never. That’s.. your thing,” he smiled, all teeth. “So, Earth’s in Sector Eighty Six?”

The Twins laughed. “Pfft, Captain. That was only an example.” “Somehow I doubt the Earth will be that close!”

“I can’t believe that, even in space, we still need to resort to hiding in caves,” observed Rhodonite, wringing her hands.

Padparadscha shrugged. “If it’s not broken, one should resist attempting to ameliorate the issue.”

The Twins, typing furiously and scanning the ship’s navigational files, both started to become disheartened. “Hmm. Captain. I.. can’t find any co-ords for Earth.” “Neither can I!”

“It’s.. true. They should be here, but they’re not,” Rhodonite tsked and sat back in her chair, trying to reason out why she couldn’t find the co-ordinates either. “They’ve been scrubbed. Actually, most ships won’t have them iiiiif.. Hm. Earth may actually be on a need-to-know basis, which would make sense since we all thought it destroyed when we first met you and Steven.” She hesitated before continuing. “And.. Yellow Diamond is known to harbor a deep resentment toward the Earth - she must be angling to finally strike it from the starmaps!” She groaned while frowning at her screen. “Why is everything sooo difficult for us!”

Lars, who had at some point started manspreading in the Captain’s chair, accidentally activated a holographic floating screen that projected from the armrest of his new captain’s chair and was playing around with it but not able to understand it yet, banged a fist down. “Stars damn it!” he complained, not for the first time finding himself picking up gem turns of phrase through exposure. “So we CAN get there right exactly now - but we also CAN’T!? What do we do?”

Fluorite poked her head up from the engine room stairwell. “My friends. I can write a script that will quietly ping nearby ships for the information we need. It will be untraceable. Be patient - we’ll get the information eventually.”

Everyone had turned to watch Fluorite speak, and Rhodonite smiled widely. “You.. can do that!? Fluorite! You’re brilliant!”

“Oh hush,” the giant fusion slowly lowered herself back down to her station in the engine room, “I’ll begin work on it right away.”

“Have I mentioned how much I really appreciate our Fluorite?” said Rhodonite, smiling.

“I predict bad news.. oh, wait!” Padparadscha gasped from her chair to the right of the Twins, “Fluorite! She’s going to save the day!”

“Yeah,” agreed Lars, sitting back in his chair, smiling and generally feeling much better despite the bumps and bruises he’d picked up earlier that day. “She’s a jack of all trades. I guess we’re hanging around here a while then.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

Fluorite wrote and executed her Earth-seeking script, and all there was left to do was wait for it to hit up a passing ship with files relating to Earth. This was yet another in a series of setbacks - but this time, they knew they were relatively safe as long as they stayed put in the asteroid’s crater.

They found ways to distract themselves. One of the first distractions was Lars and Padparadscha’s inability to use the ship’s functions, which found Rhodonite in front of the Captain’s panel with both of them, guiding them through the ship’s programs and systems.

“..And this one’s just for making notes.”

Lars touched the screen, and found that he was able to write a swear on it quite freely, for all the world like he was just using an ordinary tablet back home. “Awesome.”

She looked at the strange letters and frowned at him. “Lars, is that one of your Earth ‘curse words’?”

“I predict that it will be! Humans employ such colorful phrases,” chirped Padparadscha happily.

He scribbled it out, and it disappeared. “Thanks Padparadscha.”

“Alright, well, anyway, try it out! Try to open comms with, say, Fluorite in the engine room.”

“Sweet, I can do that.” He exited out of the current screen and tapped on some icon. It brought up a series of options and he tapped on the engine room one. Fluorite appeared on the screen, a little surprised.

“Captain Lars! Padparadscha! To what do I owe the pleasure since I last saw you five minutes ago?”

“Fluorite! How’s that engine room these days? I was thinking, in the cargo bay, there’s a tiny shuttle or something. Since we’ve got some spare time for now, do you think we could.. maybe take a look at it? See if it works?”

Fluorite considered the idea and replied at length. “Hmmm.. Yes! Let’s have a look! We have time.”

Rhodonite looked concerned. “Captain, I don’t think-” She sighed. “Well, actually, this is the perfect segway into having a reason for pressing this button,” she smiled, motioning towards a subtle button not on the screen, but on the armrest itself. Lars pressed it in a trusting manner to see a glowing circle appeared on the floor in front of him.

“Hey cool! ..What is that?”

“Step into it and you’ll see.”

Soon, Lars and Rhodonite were swallowed up by a ball that emerged out of the glowing floor, into which they disappeared. After a short ride down, they were deposited into the cargo bay staring up at the ship.

“It’s a Star Skipper, a fighter jet,” Fluorite said slowly, as she came down the stairwell behind them. “It could be useful on the off-chance we desperately require a fighter jet.”

To her credit, Rhodonite was happy to entertain the idea if only to voice her many massive problems with it. “But what’s the point? Who would even be able to fly it? I love Padparadscha to bits, but I wouldn’t trust her with -that-. We can’t sacrifice the twins to pilot it, or split them in half and have the best of both worlds - that’s called shattering! I’m too big, and I’m not unfusing so one of us can just go crash into some planet.. and Fluorite, you’re waaay too big - no offense.”

But Fluorite agreed, “It’s true. I’m never unfusing again.”

“I guess I’m about the right size,” offered Lars.

Rhodonite blinked all her eyes at once and sliced a hand around as if attempting to physically cut the idea short. “Oh no, no no no. It’s too dangerous.” 

“What?! Running around that citrine-filled spaceport was dangerous! This’ll just be fun!”

“But, Lars! You’re the Captain! And you’re squishy!

“Yeah, but the squishy Captain says this is happening. Sorry to pull rank just now, Rhodonite.”

She sighed and shrugged, gazing up at the machine. “Well, we’ve got nothing else going on. You might as well fix -that- up.”

Lars stuck around as Rhodonite left to head back upstairs, laughing a little at how salty she’d been about it all. 

Fluorite lumbered over and began to inspect it. She opened the cockpit hatch and had a look around inside of it. She reached in and tapped the console - it all turned on immediately.

“It works!” enthused Lars.

“No, it needs repairs,” came Fluorite’s rebuttal, crashing down on his parade.

“Oh.” Lars climbed up and sat on the roof of it, gazing down at the alien-looking cockpit controls. “That, uh, looks insane.”

“Well,” considered Fluorite, patiently, “Since you’re going to help me fix it up anyway, how can we make it user-friendly for you?”

Lars rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “Could we.. make the controls a bit more like.. my car?”

Fluorite smiled widely. “Of course we can! All we need, is a plan. And, for you to explain what a car is.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

It was cycles later, and the Off Colors were growing tired of being able to keep a good track of time thanks to the ship’s systems. Whiling away the hours is a much more frustrating process when you can physically see them passing by in number-form whenever you want. To distract themselves, the three smaller gems and human stood on the top of the jet, checking out the new and improved cockpit below them, while Fluorite towered over them all.

“What is -THAT-. What have you done!? It’s.. a mess!”

Lars, with a light in his eyes, his sleeves rolled up and grease and what-not all up and down his forearms, smiled despite Rhodonite’s reaction. “-That- is my sweet new fighter jet, Rhodonite. It’s perfect!”

“It’s experimental,” corrected Fluorite, “And we’re still fine-tuning. But it’s technically sound in principle.”

Rhodonite shook her head. “Nah-uh. -That- will get you shattered - sorry - killed! Again! Didn’t you learn the first time?!”

Lars was used to butting heads with Rhodonite on occasion and enjoyed it. “It looks like that so I actually have a chance at flying it -without- dying. It’s just like my car, back home.”

He slid down off the jet to wipe the grime off his arms and face with some rag he had lying around for the purpose as Fluorite went back to tinkering on the outside of the ship.

Rhodonite frowned at the wrong cockpit, but the Twins were a bit more open to it. “Rhodonite, it looks like it can work.” “I don’t doubt Fluorite at all.”

“Well I wouldn’t dare doubt her either, but-”

One of the Twins smiled and leaned over to whisper. “Look at him. He’s risked so much for us, and now he’s having a good time for once.”

“Okay,” Rhodonite exhaled. “I’ll.. try to stop worrying so much.”

“And who knows,” said the other Twin. “We may actually need a fighter jet somecycle.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

An undefined amount of time later, while the Off Colors continued to wait for the Earth co-ordinates to appear listed in the navigational directories of any nearby gem ship, Padparadscha and the Twins sat at their stations checking idly for nearby activity. 

“How are you going over there?” asked a Twin. “Still nothing?” asked the other.

Padparadscha had had plenty of time now to come to grips with the technology that she was made to never have to use, and she was enjoying practicing her new set of skills.

“Still nothing,” Padparadscha replied cheerfully. “But it’s okay because I never thought I’d ever be here, doing this, on my way to something better. It’s wonderful.”

One of the Twins leaned back, smiling. “You know what I can’t wait to try when we get to Earth?”

The other twin looked at her. “What’s that?”

“Coffee. Exactly on the cusp of Beach City’s dawn. The Captain made it seem amazing.”

“Oh, yeah! Me too. I also can’t wait to try donuts.”

“My only question,” said Padparadscha, “Is that surely there is waste after an organic creature ‘eats’ or otherwise imbibes a thing. For instance, only the good stuff comes out of the ground while a gem incubates. So, what happens to that waste?”

The Twins both frowned, one of them placing a hand on her chin in thought. The question stumped them both for a solid couple of minutes until Rhodonite walked over, looking for something to do.

“Oh hey, Rhodonite,” called a Twin as they turned around in their chair. “What are you doing?” asked the other.

“Twins, Clarity, please - give me something to do. I think I accidentally got used to always doing stuff, you know, back when we were constantly escaping from things or pretending to be agonizingly ‘normal’.” She started counting thing off on her fingers. “I’ve organized the cargo bay and cleaned the engine room.. I’ve dusted the stairs and the turrets. And now I’m only one breakdown away from going outside and sweeping the dust off this stars-forsaken asteroid.”

The Twins both offered reassuring smiles up at their friend. “Heeey! You don’t have to do that,” “Settle down, Rhodonite. I’m sure we’ll have Earth-related stuff to do soon.”

“Hm. Can you.. produce Lars’ ‘food’?” asked Padparadscha.

Rhodonite raised an eyebrow. “What? No way. They are critical components for his organic body, and it’s in short supply. As gems, we don’t have any use for it. You know this!”

The Twins shook their heads. “Oh no, we’d never eat them!” “We’d never deprive the Captain of nutrients he may or may not need anymore! We just want to look.”

“We’re trying to figure something out,” explained Padparadscha.

Soon, a small amount of Earth food was arranged on an armrest. The gems were looking at the packagings closely, occasionally poking, but the symbols written all over them made no sense. The sandwich in particular looked wrong.

Rhodonite poked at it’s packaging. “Hm, didn’t this thing used to be .. white?” She sniffed at it. “Ugh! It’s an assault on my sense sponge! Can you three not smell this?!”

The three nose-less gems exchanged very confused glances. Rhodonite, realizing, nodded slowly.

“..Right. Well, it smells terrible. Surely Lars isn’t going to put this.. thing into his body,” she cringed.

Speak of the devil, Lars emerged from the lower levels of the ship followed by the upper parts of Fluorite.

“Hey Captain! Hey Fluorite!”

Lars waved a hand in greeting. “Hey guys! Can we check to see if it’s safe to test-drive the Star Skipper- Eugh, what’s that smell? Is that.. the sandwich?” He scrunched up his face as he walked closer. “That’s freaking ancient.”

Rhodonite threw her head back dramatically, thankful that his reaction was the way it was. “My stars! What a relief. If you’d have eaten this, I don’t know about you guys, but I’d have committed the crime of mutiny.”

Lars shook his head. “Yeah, there’s no way. When food starts rotting like this, you just throw it away.”

“I’ll do it!” said the Twins and Rhodonite all at once, all of them itching for something to do. 

“Let’s ‘vote’ about it”, said Rhodonite. She raised all her hands. “Four against two. I get to do it.”

The Twins shook their heads. “No, that’s not how it works, remember?!” “Did you actually forget the rules of how to vote?” “It’s one vote per gem, isn’t it?” “Right, Lars?”

Lars frowned. “I, uh, guess so, but.. that’s stupid too, because you’re both literally two gems,” he shook his head, seeing more problems with this whole thing. “So you’ll both get two votes, but you’ll only use them to vote for yourselves, which will result in a tie, which I’ll have to break because you all decided I’m the Captain. Honestly, I’d just do it myself and save everyone the agony of all this, but I’m pretty sure my most useful ability in this case would still just be ‘dying in the vacuum of space’.” 

He paused briefly to consider another fact. “Hm.. then again I wouldn’t have to breathe sandwich stench anymore.”

Rhodonite wrung out her hands a little, “I hate to be ‘that fusion’ buuut, technically, The Twins only have one gem.”

“Huh,” said Lars, narrowing his eyes, not having considered that.

The Twins looked outraged. “Hey! We’re two gems!” “We just happen to share the gem at the core of our beings, is all.”

Rhodonite pressed both sets of hands together, smiling. “I have it! What would make more sense, is if everyone else voted which of us gets to do it. Right?”

Fluorite, who had just been hanging out in the background, started slowly and quietly ducking back down into the engine room.

“That’s a lot of effort to just put a sandwich outside, especially since there’s nothing stopping either of you from going for a walk whenever you like in the first place, which I predict is really what this whole thing is about,” commented Padparadscha impassively as she turned back to her screen. “I’m out.”

“Yeeeeah, I’m out too,” said Lars, raising a hand before turning and walking over to his chair.

Suddenly, the Twins grabbed the sandwich and ran for it, giggling.

Rhodonite blinked, startled, “..Hey!”

A few moments later, the Twins walked casually through the darkness of the crater outside the ship with the sandwich, carefully placed it down behind a rock somewhere a few dozen yards from the ship, stood around for a moment as if admiring the scenery, and then walked back.

“Hmm. Kind of pleasant out there,” one Twin said when they returned to the bridge, bringing Fluorite back with them. “Well, not anymore.. ‘cuz of the sandwich,” said the other. The first Twin brightened a little. “Has there been any good news regarding Earth during the short moment that we were outside?” she inquired, optimism dangerously rampant in her voice.

“No,” replied Rhodonite, who was sitting back over at her own station. She motioned towards the viewport which was still displaying the crater’s wall and, beyond that, more asteroids floating against the canvas of space. “No such luck.”

“How long have we been here for?” asked Lars. The thought to test drive the fighter jet was on hold for now. He touched a finger to the armrest controls and brought up his screen again.

“Five and a half cycles,” said a Twin, patting her console. The other looked pleased as she elaborated, “No ‘give-or-take’ anymore, thanks to the ship’s onboard timetrackers!”

“..Weird,” said Lars, as he doodled idly in the holographic notepad.

“Why? What?” asked Rhodonite, mildly alarmed.

“Ugh, nothing.” He paused briefly, “..Okay, not nothing. It must have been weeks before that - since we started this whole thing, right? Well, I’m still not hungry or thirsty and, and I.. I completely forgot I even had that stuff in the first place.” He blinked, realizing something else. “It wasn’t even in the back of my mind. I should have died from lack of water at least several times over.”

“Lars.. maybe you should start to consider that you’re not simply.. human, anymore.” Fluorite said in a kind tone.

It was the thing - the thing he had been actively avoiding thinking about ever since he first came to with a badly aching skull and skin and hair as pink as that of some kind of gem. It seemed such a long time ago.

He blinked hard and stared down at the floor in front of him.

“Yeah, that’s right,” continued Rhodonite, getting up from her chair and moving to lean against the back of it, facing him. “I mean, you said yourself, you haven’t needed to sleep or eat this whole time. And, if humans don’t have powers, you sure have a lot of those for a human! The hair thing.. that concussive blast you made once.. and, who knows what else you’ll find someday - You’re so new.”

It wasn’t enough for Lars. His screen disappeared as he waved it away and he picked a spot on the beautiful green floor of the bridge to stare at.

“If I’m no longer human, then.. what am I?” he asked quietly.

Rhodonite laughed abruptly without really meaning to. “Haha, what? Lars.. How are we supposed to know that?”

He raised his voice. “But you should know! Shouldn’t you?! Steven brought me back like this with his gem powers.” He shrugged a little, looking off to the side. “I mean, I’m not complaining - getting to be alive s’more at all has been pretty rad.” He finally raised his eyes to his friends, brow furrowed, gesturing towards them. “But.. you guys are all gems! At least one of you should know something about this, right?”

He studied the gems in turn as they all exchanged inquiring and confused glances among themselves. He began to grow nervous in the silence they maintained. “..Right?”

But it was clear that none of them really knew what to tell him. 

“I have never heard of anything like this ever happening before,” said Fluorite, slowly. Padparadscha and the Twins nodded their agreement.

“He cried on you, right?” asked Rhodonite. “Well, when you follow the Perfect Order of the Great Diamond Authority, you never cry - or smile, for that matter - over the comings and goings of organics. That’s beneath a good, Diamond-fearing gem. No one does that.”

“Yes. It’s completely unheard of,” said Padparadscha.

“I never left the cave system I emerged into until recently, and even I know that,” said a Twin. “Yeah, that’s.. that’s exactly what I was going to say too,” said the other.

Fluorite smiled softly at the poor kid. “Steven is not like other gems. He said it himself, that he’s half human. Lars - there is no way any of us can know what that could possibly mean.”

Lars sank at the shoulders, folding his arms in front of him. 

Rhodonite stepped forward, trying to offer some comfort. “From the moment a gem pops up out of the ground, we know exactly what we are and what we’re supposed to do. Beyond that, we don’t know anything! We aren’t supposed to learn or change. Pearl and Ruby didn’t even know gems of two different kinds could fuse, until they did, and.. everything changed. And now.. we’re all here! Doing.. this! All of this-” she waved all four of her arms around with a sudden burst of energy, “-None- of this was ever, ever supposed to happen! It’s new and terrifying! But..” She shrugged, clasping her hands together, “But there’s kind of a beauty in that, maybe?”

“I think so!” said a Twin. “Me too!”

“Lars,” said Padparadscha, “We aren’t even a hundred percent on what a real human is in the first place. The only one of those that any of us has ever met was you. For only a brief moment. Before you turned pink.”

Lars looked up over at her from his downcast position.

“But, I’d love to be able to predict that you’ll find out what it means someday, if that helps!” she finished, smiling hopefully.

It wasn’t the answer Lars wanted, but since he was being more honest with himself these days, it was what he had expected. “.. Okay. Thanks, guys.”

Hesitation hung in the air.

“Are you.. alright with that?” asked Rhodonite, worried again. “How are you getting through this?”

“Yeah.. no, I’ll be fine. I am actually surprised that the little weirdo- uh, Steven, hasn’t popped out of my head since back in the cavern, actually,” he stated, running fingers through his wavy mohawk. “I guess in the back of my mind, I expected him to always be bugging us trying to help.”

“Ugh, can you imagine if that had happened at just the wrong moment?!” Rhodonite was horrified just thinking about it.

“If that happened in front of Crazy Lace,” said a Twin, “Or when we met Emerald in person!” said the other.

Padparadscha joined in. “Or, if he fell out of your head in the middle of all those citrines!”

“We would have been caught! Our cover, blown.. It would have been horrible!” Rhodonite added.

“You urged him to go back to Earth where he’d be safe. Perhaps he is just respecting your wishes,” offered Fluorite.

Lars frowned, both surprised and not surprised to realize that he actually missed the little guy. “So this is what did it? -This- is the only situation where Steven would respect my wishes?” He snorted, smiling. “I’m sure he’s also been busy, I guess. He’s always away doing gem stuff.” 

~*~*~*~*~*~

An undefined span of time later, the entire crew were still milling idly around the bridge, keeping a weary visionsphere or six on the viewport.

“C’mooon, Earth!” urged Rhodonite, staring upside-down at the viewport from her position lying on the floor. “I have a feeling we’ll have it.. now!”

Nothing.

“…Now!”

The viewport showed the same scene that had been going on outside the ship for exactly as long as they had been there - Space, rocks, and floating space rocks.

“..Now?”

“Stooooooooop,” moaned the otherwise incredibly patient Fluorite, lying on her face on the floor halfway out of a staircase, painfully bored. “It’s not. Going. To work.” She punctuated her sentence by hitting her face into the floor.

Padparadscha perked up suddenly from the comfort of her own chair. “I know what will help alleviate the tedious monotony of the moment.” She cleared her throat delicately. “I spy with my singular-”

This time, everyone groaned.

“Thanks, though, Padparadscha,” said Lars flatly, sitting upside down in the Captain’s chair, wistfully doodling the crude outline of an also-upside down ube roll onto his screen.

“That looks weird,” said a twin, who was peering over, tilting her head to see what he was doing. “What is it?”

“It’s a bad drawing of a cake - something you eat. One of the last things I ever did on Earth was make one of these, for Sadie and Steven, and some other friends.” He sighed. “Long story short, I ruined it with my usual shtick of being scared.”

“Well, maybe one of the first things you do when you get back..” “..Could be to make us all one? For us to share with all your Earth friends.”

Lars shot upside-down finger guns at them. “Hey! You got it!”

The Twins smiled at each other, excited.

Suddenly, an alert sounded. A graphic shaped like a blue and green globe in an oddly geometric style with a crudely-drawn smiley face on it blew up large on the bridge’s viewport. Everyone stopped what they were doing to look at it and, after a healthy few seconds worth of disbelief, they all cheered loudly, fists-in-the-air style.

“Merciful stars! The co-ords!” gasped a Twin as they ran over to sit at the pilot’s console. The other Twin hugged the first one, exclaiming happily; “We can get to Earth!”

“It must be Saturday night!” Rhodonite cried happily as she leapt up and ran over to her console.

The atmosphere in the bridge suddenly became electric with excitement as they immediately got down to business. Lars spun around to sit the correct way up in the chair.

“I’ll prep the nova thrusters,” said Fluorite as she descended once more to the engine room.

“So, what, we power all systems on, leave this rock, take a moment to orientate ourselves and then we’re off? It’s that simple?” asked Lars.

“That’s the gist of it,” said Rhodonite, looking troubled anyway despite being pleased that things were happening again. “But as soon as we leave this asteroid, we’re open to being hailed by anything within thirty systems of here,” she warned.

“Do it,” said Lars. “We’ve gotta move.”

“Alright guys, brace yourselves.” The Rutile Twins worked their controls as the ship moved. “We’ve powered everything back up and are currently leaving the asteroid.”

Fluorite appeared again in the stairwell. “Captain Lars. The nova thrusters are prepped and can be fired when ready.”

“Great!” said Lars. 

Rhodonite sank. “Captain. We have an.. incoming message, from.. you-know-who.”

“Already? Has.. has she been looking for us this entire time? She must really love this ship.” He waved a hand around. “Well, put it on screen. I’ll keep her distracted until we’re good to go.”

Suddenly, two kids fell out of his hair and onto the floor in front of him. Lars was forced to hunch forward in his chair for it, gritting his teeth, and immediately glanced wide-eyed down at them in surprise.

“Steven!?”

The kids, equally if not more surprised, were clearly not expecting the scene before them now.

“Lars?”

And, abruptly, a third voice cut through all the activity taking place on the bridge.

“IT’S OVER!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This turned out to be the hardest and longest chapter to write, mostly because I struggled with how to transition it into the events within the show itself. There had to be a space chase (of course), but there needed to be some time for Lars and Padparadscha (I assume because sapphires don’t seem like a techy class of gem) to become familiar with the ship and its functions, and they def needed time to muck around with the Star Skipper.. and then I just wanted them to have extra time to get bored and annoyed at each other as well and to tie up whatever loose ends I could think of before the events of ‘Lars of the Stars’ take place. I couldn’t really reconcile doing all that with what is usually shown to be a rather speedy process of space travel between locations in the show’s canon, so I figured they needed to be stalled for a while. Also, the ship was stopped at the start of LotS for an unknown reason, and having Earth’s location be on a need-to-know basis that they need to dig up from somewhere else is how I chose to explain all that. Given that the rest of their journey is canonically riddled with setbacks, it seemed reasonable to set that expectation up early. 
> 
> Sorry if the techy spaceship stuff smacks of bad writing/handwaving or was boring. I hope it at least made sense and/or faded into the background a little as the focus of this story is trying to be more on the characters, how they interact and bond, and how they might arrive at the situation they’re seen to be be in during ‘Lars of the Stars’.
> 
> However, don’t try to understand the Rutile’s sector spiel too closely - I don’t really know how all that reads, I just wanted it to sound weird and not-easily-graspable but still maybe plausible. I doubt it’s a good model for slicing up the universe, but cartoon aliens might think otherwise.
> 
> In other news:
> 
> This is the end of the original ~~ten~~ ~~twelve~~ thirteen chapters I had planned for this piece of writing.
> 
> I started outlining and planning this in mid/late Feb while I was sick with flu and needing a distraction while thinking about/rewatching waaay too much SU after having been obsessed with Lars’ situation with his new friends ever since the Wanted arc was released. I tried to find fanfics tackling their journey, but I didn’t find exactly what I was looking for.. so I decided to have a go at writing my first fanfic in like a million years. I’ve spent a large portion of my limited spare time working on this story ever since. I can’t believe it’s been roughly a month and a half in the writing of this - I really enjoyed doing this and judging from the stats, more people than I expected seem to have enjoyed reading, which only makes it seem more worthwhile to me. 
> 
> Big thanks to everyone who left kudos/subscribed/bookmarked/commented on this - I think/hope I replied to all the comments! Thanks also to those who only contributed to the hit count but still gave it a read. I really appreciate it all and hope you liked it. :)
> 
> Let me know what you think in a comment if you like - especially if you think there’s anything I can be doing better.


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